CLARRY one shot [Her Effect]

"Fuck me, no him. No me."

Okay this is meant to be a funny one shot of my favourite ship for the Her Effect one shot contest. CLARRY. This is an attempt at humour. An ATTEMPT. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE. JUST READ AND FORCE YOUR LAUGHS. POKE YOUR EYE FOR TEARS OF LAUGHTER PLS TENKS VV MUCH. ANYWAY Chingyonce HERE YOU GO QUEEN FMLLLLLL

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"Omg, hold on. Heart palpitations." Clarece doubled over, panting heavily as she held up a hand, before deciding a knee bend wasn't enough and she did in fact need to lay down. So she did.

Assassin turned around at the thump and crack of the branches before rolling his eyes and sighing loudly, praying to the good Lord for some strength today.

Clarece closed her eyes and tried to get her heart rate back to normal.

Assassin wanted to let her relax a little longer however it was getting dark soon.

He walked on over to her, grabbing her hand, ready to lift her up when she hit him in the throat.

He let out a strangled cry and resisted against his reflex to defend himself and hit back when Clarece opened her eyes and opened her mouth as if to scream but didn't. She just opened her mouth as if to say "shït, fücking shït fück".

"The last time. The last time I ever offer to train you again." Assassin wheezed out, grabbing his throat as he just stayed where he was before he was hit, hovering above her, before deciding he did in fact need to lay down. So he did.

"Gimme your phone." Clarece held her hand out to the coughing boy beside her, still panting herself.

"What? No. Why?" Assassin glared at the girl beside him.

"I need to call my mum, tell her I've got a sex God of a man laying next to me. After all the doubts, if I would ever get married, why I brought no boy home, am I really a lowkey lesbian, am I a nun, my mother can finally ease that little fat head of hers. Bless."

Assassin snorted out, really attractively - Clarece may add, and chuckled.

She screamed as if she just had an orgasm.

"And that the man has a chuckle sexier than sex. And that all my sexy would fit in his little toe, maybe." Clarece smiled.

Assassin looked at her blankly, turning his head to Clarece, before pulling her by her arm to bring her closer to him but realised she didn't want to budge so, sighed and shuffled closer to her.

"You're sexy, amore." He said genuinely, with a smile, putting an arm around her.

"Not just sexy, but beautiful and funny and kind and helpful and caring and genuine. Must I go on?"

Clarece nodded her head.

Assassin smiled. "I'd go on all day just so you know you are all of these things."

Clarece got up all of a sudden, throwing his arm off of her and stood.

"Ha, SIKE! I know I'm perfect, calm down and le'go." She laughed at the Assassin's face, who just stood and brushed off his clothes. He muttered in Italian about how all the women here play too much and are so self assured, he can't even be romantic and tell them something they already know.

"So, donuts." Clarece didn't even ask as a suggestion, she just stated.

"Donuts." Assassin agreed before walking on with her.

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"Look, pumpkin, I didn't mean to touch your perky boobs, okay? It was just a graze."