I laid on my bed. I was empty. The funeral was just a few hours ago, and the surreal ness of the event was still looming nearby. Ever since his passing, my family doesn't say anything to each other anymore. But Cory died of bravery and courage. He died the good way. I couldn't even cry. It just wasn't an option. Earlier today I had watched my only brother go down. And the sad part was that in five years, people would forget him and the whole situation. Yet they will always remember the 'hero' that upgraded our towns local grocery store. I really just felt that if I started to cry, I wouldn't be able to stop. I just kept replaying the whole scene. The train lights burned into my mind. The whole scene has been replaying in a constant motion. never stoping. I just wish things were the way they were before this wreck.
The radio was loud and you could hear the humming of a happy Mom. The clear scent of bacon, eggs, and pancakes wafted in the breeze. I combed my thick dirty blonde hair. It was church day, which was usually my favourite day when the family didn't argue. It was usually over finances, Dads tie, and how nobody in the family helps out. And sometimes it could last all week. "Ruth!" I threw the hairbrush on my quilt covered bed and headed downstairs. My mom called me twice already, we were running late today because Dad's alarm didn't go off. I got to the bottom of the stairs. My mom was holding open the large wooden door and was holding my jean jacket my grandma got me a few weeks ago. I slipped on my white Keds and headed out to the truck with mom following me. We lived on a big farm that wasn't used for produce or livestock but the enjoyment of having lots of yardage. "Hurry up Ruth." Cory sat in the back of the truck, my three little sisters Diane, Stacy, and Beth sat in the three backseat of the ford truck. Living with four siblings can drive you crazy about 100 percent of the time. And that's more than enough reason why to not have a large family. We were very humble I must admit. Sometimes when I couldn't fall asleep because I was stressed about school I thought of how mom and dad feel taking care of five kids, day in, day out. We all practically did everything together. We cleaned together, ate dinner together, went on long drives to new places together. Our family was known for things like that. I jumped into the back and stayed sitting as the truck became in motion. I had my back against the back window and Cory sat the same way. We drove down our rather long driveway that had trees all parallel to each other on both sides. This was my favourite part of the week. Just closing my eyes and seeing the quick flashes of sunlight and darkness from the leaves on the oak trees. The wind was in my hair and it smelled like the lilac flowers that bloomed and died so quickly. Nothing could be better. Nothing ever amounted to the short blissfulness.
