Poems & Short Stories

Scared.

{4/17/16}

I am so scared
I've never really admitted that
But I am terrified

Completely and utterly terrified
Of the future
Because everything happened
so quickly

Where will I end up?
Sometimes I fear that maybe
This mess is too big to clean up

Not too long ago
Things weren't falling apart around me
Not too long ago
I had some hope
Not too long ago
I wasn't going crazy because things
won't slow down

Sometimes I look in the mirror
And I don't know who's looking back
And I wonder how I became this person

Suddenly one day I just couldn't
Recognize myself
One day everything just collapsed

Everything just fell apart
And sometimes I wonder why?

Why did everything just crash down?
Why can't I get myself together?
Why am I lonely in the middle of a                 group of friends?
Why won't things just slow down?

Why can't I just do one thing I'm proud of?
Why do I feel like I can't fight
           anymore?

Everyday I wake up
And I find a new way to hate myself
I wind up this heart
So it will continue ticking
But friend, this is not living.

I can't do this anymore.

I cannot be this person
Who is not a person

I cannot play this game anymore.