Reporting from Yours Truly

The Cliche Neighbor Trick

Now, I never really liked babysitting, nor conversing with someone more than a year younger than me, but Conner is the coolest little dude around. He's actually smart, he's sarcastic too, and he knows how to cook, courtesy of Jared, the food angel.

I was dragged out of the lunch room, leaving behind my copy of 'The Titan's Curse' from the Percy Jackson series, and next thing I know, Jared has made up some sort of lie. Jared could probably lie his way out of jail. He's like, the best liar out there. Seriously. 

"You see, I need to get them out of school ASAP. Our grandmother is in the hospital and the doctors aren't sure if she's going to make it through the surgery. This was very sudden to us, since we had no idea she was in bad health until our mother called, panicking about it, and summoned us to the hospital. I hate to take my brothers out of school, but I'm afraid I have to." He finished, and the lady at the attendance office quickly nodded and sent us off, telling us she'll be praying for our grandmother.

How does he do that!? That lie was so fake!!  And so, we got thrown into the mini van of doom, to see  Conner smiling at us. 

"So, how was your day?" He asked. He smiled, showing off his unfairly perfect white teeth, and Jared frowned and brushed the curtain of blonde hair from Conner's face, that covered one of his brown eyes.

"Don't put your hair in your face. You'll end up eating it." Jared scolded, and went to the driver's seat. 

"Oh, yeah. You started putting your hair like because of that anime character, right?" I asked. Conner also watches tons of anime, and right now his favorite one is One Piece. He makes me watch it with him, since I have a huge soft spot for the guy, and he wants an anime friend.

"Yeah, Sanji!" He smiled.

"Oh, the cook who has the hots for Zoro?" I ask. I mean, it's kind of obvious. Sanji is head over heels in love with the, what did he call him.. oh yeah, marimo. I must sound like a creep.

"Yeah, that one. Zoro's pretty awesome too. I think that they should put more clothing on the girls though. I mean, isn't it a bit much when they're only in like, bra's and super short shorts?" Conner asked. I nod in agreement. 

You see, Conner isn't like "OMG BOOBS". He's more of "Okay, go put a shirt on." He's not girl crazed, and we are so thankful for that since apparently all of the girls love him. 

That was so off topic of what I was trying to say.

Well, Conner and I chatted about anime (a new one called Attack on Titan) and Jared was asking Peter if he had gotten a girlfriend yet, and Peter was talking about how this one girl in his class was totally amazing. I think her name was Nia. An odd name, but cool.

"I still can't believe that no one has figured out that Annie is the female titan!! The titan HAD HER NOSE." Conner was ranting.

"Alright, we're here." Jared kicked us out, along with Conner, and threw our back packs at us.

"When did you get these?" I asked, Jard just smiled, and drive off.

We were at the house, which was actually our parents, but they were on a trip to somewhere, and when they got there, they went somewhere else. They've been gone for about a week and a half, and they were going to be gone for two months. A long time, I know, but at least we still have a legal adult at the house, even though we're not the party throwing kind of teens. 

"Come on! We're only half way through One Piece!" Conner dragged me in, and Peter followed. 

My phone rang. I immediately answered.

"Who died?! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!" No one EVER calls me, and the last time my parents did, Peter had broken his arm. 

"Uh... No one. It's me, Jasper. Mr.Jay gave me your number because he said that it was unlike you to leave school..." Jasper? Seriously Mr.Jay? 

"Oh. Wait, how does Mr.Jay even know my... wait, that contest thing... never mind. Why are you calling me again?" Peter was giving me weird looks and Conner was opening his laptop, preparing the anime.

"I was told to. By the way, I need to return your lunch box. And your book. Give my compliments to the chef." I sighed.

"I'll pick them up tomorrow." 

"Tomorrow's Saturday."  

"Fine. I'll stop by at the end of school."

"And leave your poor grandmother?"

"I'm starting to hate you a bit."

"Good, now tell me where you live."

"Creep."

"Shut it. Now tell me."

"For all I know you could be a mass murderer."

"Damn, my cover's blown."

"Should I call the police now?"

"Shut up. I'll just tell you where I live."

"I could be a hitman you know."

"I'll risk it. Murderers are better than hitmen."

"Nah, hitmen are so much better."

And that's how we started arguing about whether or not muderers are better than hitmen. Eventually we got to our original topic.

"I live on 2711 Rosewood Ave." Jasper said. Wait. That's not right.

"That can't be right. I live on 2713 Rosewood. Wait, is your house blue with red trim?" This is too cliche.

"Yeah... Well, hi there nieghbor!" So I have to live next to him until I move out.

"Whatever. Where are you anyways? Lunch ended an hour ago."

"Principle's office."

"What?" What did he do?

"Well, as I said, the principle asked me to call you, and he's been listening to our whole conversation, and frankly, he's been laughing at us for most of this call." Really Mr.Jay?

"Okay... I can just pick it up when you get home." 

"Alrighty neighbor!" He hung up.

"Soooooo... Jasper's our neighbor?" Peter chipped in, tapping my shoulder. I nodded.

"Who's Jasper?" Conner piped up. He was sitting patiently, waiting for me to sit down and watch anime with him. 

Peter smiled. "Jasper's Andrew's boyfriend." 

"Oh, that's sweet." Conner totally went along with it! 

"WAIT. He's NOT my boyfriend. I barely even know him!" I smacked Peter, and cleared up the misunderstanding with Conner. 

I really don't mind homosexuality, in fact, I have an aunt who has the nicest wife on Earth. 

"Okay. Can we watch One Piece now?" Conner pulled the bambi eyes on me. I smiled and sat down.

I seriously didn't expect the cliche neighbor thing, but you know, I'm the main character, and who knows what'll happen to me?