Neymar Jr. Imagines

Pain

I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I....I don't know what I'm doing, I'm not a weak person, but I just can't go on.

About 1 month ago my family was driving home from my little brothers middle school graduation. On their way back from dinner a drunk driver rear ended my family causing them to get smashed in between a semi and the drunk driver.

While all of this happened I was in Los Angeles hanging out with my best friend Neymar. He was their when I got the call, he was the one that rushed me to the hospital, he was the one that held me until every tear had been dried out of my body, and I couldn't thank him more for that, but I can't keep doing this to him. He needs to go back to work and do what he loves, which is futbol, and he can't if he's here taking care of me.

I love him more than I love myself but I can't keep going on knowing my whole family is gone, forever. Neymar will understand, hopefully.

And that leads me to where I am now, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, my eyes were red and puffy, my face seemed pale and lifeless. I held the small orange container of pills in my hands.

I wanted it all to stop, I wanted to end the pain. It's been a month and I haven't gotten better, and I don't think I can. I wanted to put the pills down and forget this ever happened. God damn, I wanted so badly to get better, but a part of my self said I couldn't. A war of voices played in my head telling me to stop and the other told me to go finally just end it.

I reached for the glass and filled it up halfway with cold water from the bathroom sink. I got  into my bathtub and opened the orange container. About a dozen white pills fell into my hand. I held them in my hand for a moment feeling their softness. My left hand reached for the glass of water.

Ready, 3...2...

Neymar busted into the bathroom. His eyes found me and a worried look appeared on his face. He immediately ran over to me and pulled me out of the tub and leaned me up against the bathroom wall. I felt ashamed, I started to breathe in heavily as I realize what I almost did to myself.

"(y/n), why?", Neymar whispered into my ear while wrapping his body around mine.

"I'm sorry, I'm so....so sorry", I cried onto his chest.

"How could you do this to yourself?", he asked.

"Ney, I didn't think I could hold onto the pain any longer. My whole family is dead, the people that I've known and loved all my life are gone, and I won't ever be able to tell them how much I love them. I can't even say goodbye", I said.

"(y/n) I'm your family, I love you", he said as tears started to fall from his eyes and down his gentle cheeks.

"I love you too Neymar", I said between breathes.

Neymar leaned down to my lips and latched  them onto mine as if his life depended on it. My hands slowly made their way to his hair gripping on to it making Neymar moan. He held my face so carefully as if I was a glass doll.

"Please don't ever leave me", he said after a moment of silence.

"I won't, I promise", I whispered as tears fell from my face.

We quietly sat on the bathroom floor with our bodies entwined.

Neymar kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes. How could a moment be so painful yet beautiful at the same exact time.