At the age of nine, life should've been going just fine.
What I didn't expect for mine is that it would soon begin to decline.
You walked on a thin line, and I don't see why we expected you to be fine.
What would come next a young kid could never be ready, my heart would become heavily unsteady.
When I was told I had lost a big part of my life already, I couldn't fathom the pain because I was not yet ready.
It fucked with my head
Oh yes yes it did.
It wouldn't be so bad if I were dead instead
Dad, you would always remain my hero, even though you made my happiness near zero.
My young mind didn't know what to think, and soon without any preparation my broken fucking heart began to sink.
Dad, you will always for the rest of my life remain my missing link.
Would your presence reappear if myself were to mysteriously disappear
Always will I carry a heavy heart, as this has really torn me apart.
Without you my life wouldn't have had such an amazing start, I wish so soon you didn't depart.
My happiness was slightly straight but it made its way back with the thought of the memories we had made
Now that I am older I am no longer afraid and I will no longer allow the flashbacks to fade
Sometimes I find myself wanting to die too
I just don't know what to do
Just know I that I stood glad
glad that you will always be my dad
