I Believe

Ok so for our life issues class we had to write an essay about what we believe in. This is what I wrote:

I believe in the strength music can give you. I believe that music is therapy. I believe that music affects everything. Music can be what’s on your ipod or what you listen to on the radio. It can be the sounds you hear in the city. It can be your neighbors that never stop yelling. It could be the sound of a refridgerator humming. What ever you want to define music as, it has an affect on you.

For me the music on my ipod is more alternative, punk, rock, heavy metal kind of stuff. For one of my friends its pop, pop, and more pop. Just because we listen to different music doesn’t mean anything. If my music makes me happy, and her music makes her happy whats the point in arguing about it?

When I go into the city the sounds of all the cars, and screeching of wheels, the honking is all its own kind of music. It makes me feel like I’m alive and I’m living, and I can do what ever I want.

My neighbors that never stopped yelling was like a screaming music that made me feel sad for them, wishing that they would get along. It gave me a sad feeling but then I would turn on my ipod and I’d be alright.

My refridgerator is one of the loudest refridgerators I’ve ever heard. It’s the refridgerators way of making music. Its telling me that if I need anything, I can always go and get something. It makes me feel safe.

But some music doesn’t always have a good affect on you. If you live in a bad neighborhood and are always hearing gun shots. It may make you feel nervous or unsteady. If you listen to music that is all about partying, you could end up in a really bad situation with drinking and partying.

Music has helped me in so many ways. I write music when I’m upset, and that always helps me feel better. I fall asleep to music because it makes me feel like I’m in a safe place and that I can fall right asleep without worrys. I do everything with a soundtrack now. While I’m cleaning my room I play happy, energetic music for me to dance around to and it helps me get it done a lot quicker.

I believe that music can get you through anything.

         I went through a really a really tough time recently and my music, my writing, the bands, and the band members have been my inspiration to go on. I used it to help me feel better and to express myself.  I have folders on end of band quotes that got me through everything. Some were just funny quotes that cheered me up, but some of them made it seem as if the band member is talking right to me and is going through the same thing.

 “Never cry alone. Promise me that. No one around? Put on your head phones, I’m right here. Always have been, always will be. You’re not alone.”

-       Craig Owens of Destory Rebuild Until God Shows

 “Be who you are no matter what. I swear to God, you are the most beautiful person.”

-       Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low

 “Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe.”

-       Andy Beirsack of Black Veil Brides

 “Starting right now, attempt to live as if you have no regrets.”

-       John O’Callaghan of The Maine

 “This goes out to anybody who’s ever been told that they way they think or the way they feel is the wrong way to think or feel. Always be yourself no matter what. It goes out to anybody that’s ever been pushed down, held back, or walked on. It goes out to anybody that has felt betrayed by their friends or their family. It goes out to anybody that feel likes they need help. It goes out to all of you because every single one of you is beautiful. I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of people in the world trying to tell other people that they’re not beautiful. It’s something that happens all the time. I think its bull****. There is no room for intolerence people is 2011. Its time to grow up! Be who you are no matter what, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Don’t let anybody change that or try to take that away from you. Each and every single one of you is gorgeous. Believe in yourselves.”

-       Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low

 “Suicide isn’t cowardly. I’ll Tell you what is cowardly though; treating people so badly that they want to end their lives.”

-       Ashley Purdy of Black Veil Brides

 Different days call for different music. Some days I’ll be in the mood for my pop/punk stuff, so I put my All Time Low playlist on shuffle. But somedays I’m kinda sulky and have Taylor Swift on repeat. Some days I need a pick me up and I’ll listen to One Direction. Some days I don’t really care and just put my entire ipod on shuffle. No matter what you use music for, or how much of a participant music is in your live.

I believe in the strength music gives you.

And then me being me. I wrote a seperate one that tells a little more about me. so here it is:

I believe in friendship.  I believe in trust. I believe in love. I believe in family. So what if I believe in any of those things. Just because I believe in it doesn’t mean it exist in my life. I have one friend my age. The rest (being 3 other people) I think of more as big sibilings. I have trust issues. After all the stuff that I’ve gone through I don’t know who I can trust. I feel no love from other people, or my family. My family is disoriented, not caring, unloving. So who cares what I believe in? No one. I make promises I can’t keep. I broke the biggest promise I made last night. I regret it. But isn’t that what depression is about? Regrets? “Never cry alone- Craig Owens” I don’t not any more. Because you, unlike everyone else is going to be there. Everyone else is just going to ignore me. “You go to school with people that care about you-Josh Meadows” no actually josh I don’t I don’t belong any where. Nobody here cares if I’m crying. If someone sees me crying it just means to them I’m going to go cut. It means well theres proof  that I’m a depressed emo freak. What ever. I don’t even care what anybody think any more. Call me emo. That’s cool. Call me a freak. Well good for you establishing whos a freak and who’s not. Call me depressed. I’m trying my best not to be, I’m on meds, I can’t do much else. So why should anyone care about what other people say? Because society tells everyone whats pretty, whats normal, whats cool, and whats not. So fuck it. It really doesn’t matter. TV makes us think that being 40 pounds under weight is beautiful when really its just unhealthy. They make us think that where a ton of make-up actually makes you pretty when really if you wear that much its ovbious and its not attractive. They make us think that if your depressed that you are just looking for attention when really we need help we don’t want everyone to look at us and no we cut or tried to commit suicide, we deep down only want help. They make us think that wearing shirts that show off your boobs or shorts that ride up your butt or (for guys) pants that don’t stay up are cool when really, honestly is not pretty. No one wants to see your boobs or butt. No body’s normal. There isn’t a normal. There isn’t an established pretty. A lot of people know how to hid cuts, burns, scars, behind smiles and laughs. I am one of those people. There is no set normal. There can be what people believe to be normal. Those pretty blonde girls that are stick thin you see walking through the halls wearing mini skirts and tank tops. Most of them probably work out atleast every day to stay that skinny. Some of them probably can’t tell anyone anything with the worry that some one will back stab them to be in their place. Some of them probably have dieting pills hidden in their lockers. Some of them probably reapply make-up twice an hour.

I never really quiet finished, but you get the idea of the essay.

Well hope you liked it <3

-Angela