Spending the holidays at Hermione’s house had to be one of the best experiences of my life. Not to sound like Mr. Weasley, but I love Muggles.
“Hermione.” I said as we were all seated around the dining table. “Her. Mione.”
“Oh God.” Hermione said sadly.
“Her.” I said as though this was a new revelation. “Your name has her in it!”
“Do you want-“Hermione swallowed her mouthful of food. “-A fricken medal.”
“You missed the point.” I said rolling my eyes. “ Her. She. They’re like the same.”
“Do you mean to say,” Said Mr. Granger, smiling wickedly. (His smile was pretty brilliant considering he had perfect dentist teeth.) “That we should call my daughter ‘shemione’ from now on.”
I positively beamed. Hermione’s dad is a legend.
“If that ever circulates school, I will positively have to kill you.” Hermione said threateningly.
“Trust me, won’t work.” Hermione frowned at me.
“Okay, fine.” She tried again. “I’ll have to torture you.”
“Been there, done that.” I killed her hopes again.
“I’ll restrict your junk food intake.” Hermione said with a triumphant smile.
I fell off my chair.
“OH GOD NO!” I cried dramatically. “I won’t let pansy find out.”
“Pansy?” Said Mrs. Granger sharply. “Who’s she?”
“She’s no one mum.” Hermione said calmly, though her eyes shot me daggers.
Hmm, Perhaps I shouldn’t have brought Pansy Pratface up.
“Willow, who’s Pansy.” Mrs. Granger snapped.
“Pansy’s a pansy.” I smiled. Shemione’s mum shot me a death glare. “She’s a bitch. Like the bitch. The school bitch. And she’s kind of going out with the guy who I used to think was my brother. But he’s not. He’s a shit, so it’s good that we’re not related. He’s a poo head. A poo-y shit head. Oh shit, am I allowed to swear in this house?”
No one said anything, but both Shemione and her father looked as though they were about to laugh, and her mum looked almost murderous.
Apart from that awkward dinner, I had fun spending a week at the Grangers. It was so fun turning up her massive stereo and screaming out the lyrics as Hermione and I jumped around manically. We scrolled through the internet, where Shemione showed me this magical website called ‘Tumblr’ it was pretty much where awesome people united.
“I know what I’m going to have to do.” Hermione said randomly one night.
“Huh?”
“You-know-who’s back, and we’re going to have to kill him. You, me, Harry and Ron. I’m going to have to wipe their memories. My parents.” Hermione looked at me sadly.
“Use the spell my parents used on me. Cause you get the memories back.” I suggested.
I knew she’d brought up something she never meant to. Hermione smiled sadly at me. Then she did a Hermione and went bi-polar.
“OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG!” she shouted as the song changed on her stereo. She proceeded to jump up and scream the lyrics.
That’s my best friend folks. You jelly?
