The Lie That Keeps Us Alive

Do Things Even Get Better?

There is a monster inside all of us and sometimes we choose to let it win and well... I guess you have let it win "just a bit." Your monster comes and goes but hopefully, this monster doesn't consume all the good in you.

Your eyes have faded into dull black eyes, in my opinion but I will never know the truth, since I cannot even look at them anymore. Soft, loving words used to come out of your mouth and sometimes they still do but all the wretched, cruel words drown them out just like how I feel like I'm drowning in my own mind. Yet, I still try to hold on to all the nice sentences you say because honestly, those are the only things that make me not want to run away. But, there is always this thought at the back of my mind that is not your fault that this monster has corrupted you and maybe, just maybe, I deserve all of this.

Memories fill my mind how you used to be before the monster conquered you. And I really hope we could be like that again some day. I'm just exhausted of waiting for something that I feel like is never going to happen. How long do I have to wait before all of this ends? It could have ended earlier since you have threatened to move out but I don't want things to end that way. I want the monster to free you before it swallows you whole.