Wishes |c.d.|

35.

Emily's pov

"So everything started a few days after I had arrived in New York. I met this girl that worked at a coffee shop. We would hang out sometimes, she seemed okay. Well, one day I was feeling so depressed cause I missed home and you and I was very low generally. And she kissed me..." he scrached the back of his head. I rolled my eyes. "So I guess that's your thing, when you miss someone you go and kiss someone else?" I said with irony clear in my voice. "You know, maybe a text would work better for you" I fake smiled. "Now will you let me finish?" he asked, I just sighed. "I didn't pull away, I'm not gonna lie to you-" he said, shiftingn uncomfortably in his seat. I let out a scoff "Yeah, don't worry about it. It wouldn't be the first time anyway".

"I only kissed her back beacause I wanted to think that it was you who I was kissing! But I know it is certainly the most stupid thing I could have done . Emily, I'm sorry. I really am." he looked me dead in the eye. "I'm sorry too Cameron. But how could I possibly know you're not lying again." I said. "Don't you trust me?" He said. I laughed coldly "Cameron, trust isn't given, its gained. And once you gained my trust you made sure to shatter it into pieces. And it's not that easy to gain it back. Shouldn't you have known by now? I trusted you with everything from the first day. Did it do me any good?"

He staid silent for a moment, searching his mind to find something to say. But he couldn't, there was nothing left unsaid. Or was there? "The next days where the ones when I didn't text you at all. I couldn't face you, knowing that I had betrayed you and broke your heart. I couldn't stand the idea of losing you Emily. I don't want to lose you" he kept his gaze low. My stomach knotted and I felt like my heart tightened, like I couldn't breath properly. I held the urge to tear up once again. But I couldn't control it. Just the thought that this could possibly be our goodbye made this lump form in my throat. I didn't want this, us to be over for good. As stubborn as I was, at the back of my mind I always believed that we would work it out in a way.

"Emily I love you. I really do" he finally said. "I love you too Cameron, but until you make up your mind and decide what you want, this can't happen" I sighed. Cameron and I had only been dating for almost four months. However, I was sure of my feelings for him. I was just afraid that he wasn't. "All I'm asking for is a second chance. I promise you Emily, I'll never hurt you again. I need you. Please" he held my hand in his. I hadn't really seen this vulnerable side of him. "I need time" was the only thing I said, and it was enough to make a huge grin make its way to his lips. "Take all the time in the world" he kisses the top of my hand.

I pulled my hand away once again. He just stayed there staring at me with a goofy smile. I returned to drawing, avoiding conversation. "Don't you know it's not polite to stare?" I said, not moving my gaze from my notebook. "I can't help it" he replied.
*****
The rest of the time we didn't really talk. I was thinking through everything and trying to process what had happened. I didn't know if I could truth in or his words anymore. But why would he have a reason to lie. Once it was time to go, I gathered my things and wakes out towards my car. "Emily, wait!" I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around to see what Cameron wanted this time.

"I...l was going to hang out with the guys, I think Mahogany and Dylan are going to be there too. Um, do you maybe want to join us?" He scratched the back of his head. I didn't know if I wanted to go. I didn't want things to get awkward between me and Cameron but I did want to go out too. And since Dylan and Mahogany were going to be there as well, I was left with no one to hang if I didn't go. "Sure" I finally said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Okay, you can follow me there" he winked. "Yeah don't get too flirty" I rolled my eyes "I'm just going there for mahogany and the guys, not you". He pressed his lips together. "I know" he said, "but I'm just trying to win you back" he said. "Like this? Never happening. You have to prove you're worthy of my trust to gain it back. You're not getting anywhere by giving me those flirty looks. Yore not so heart-eyes Cameron Dallas" I said and walked confidently to my car.

Yeah, the truth was that he actually was heart-eyes. But I just didn't want him to have the impression that I would give in and run back into his arms with a snap of his fingers. I was better than that, he could never control me. I glanced behind me. He was still standing there with his hands in his pockets and a small smirk playing on his lips. He knew what I was doing and, let me tell you, I am sure he was enjoying this kind of feisty side of me. "Well what are you waiting for, get in your car. I want to get there before I turn 50" I yelled so he could hear me. He just shook his head and laughed, running toward his car.

I'll make him see what he's missing. He will look for me at his loneliest nights, just like the first time. And I'll make sure he realizes what that kiss costed him. I know he wants to get back together with me, so why not have a little fun teasing him?