Wishes |c.d.|

54.

Cameron's pov

Tomorrow I was leaving. Not just California. I was leaving the house I grew up in. I was leaving all my friends who were by my side my whole life. I was leaving all our good times back. I was leaving the girl of my life, even though she didn't know it. She probably wasn't going to see me anytime soon. If I were her, I wouldn't want to see me Ina billion years. I was leaving back my whole life. Was it worth it? I didn't know. I was hoping to find that out. It took so much of me to make this decision. I couldn't be certain about making the right choices in my life. But I was getting a second chance to bring my family back together again, at least as close as I could bring it at the time.

Times like these make you rethink of your entire life, all those years I spent at that city. I felt my heard heavy on my chest, I found it hard to breathe. And not only because no matter where I looked, all I could see was memories I was about to leave behind, but also because of the girl who lived next door.

I remember the first day I met her. Or the next. Where I took her out at the diner down the street. That one I considered our first date. I remembered all the late night conversations we had on the roof. I remember looking forward to seeing her very night and just sitting on the roof and talking with her about nothing serious really. I missed that. I missed her. Already. And I hadn't even left yet. I had no idea what I was going to do without her.

I had promised to not hurt her. I had made this promise more to myself than anyone else. I could never forgive myself for the pain I have caused her, and I know she deserves so much better than me. She deserves someone to take care of her, treat her right. Someone who can do the things I couldn't do for her. Someone like Matthew. I knew he had something with her. Some kind of emotional bond, an understanding only he seemed to have with the girl I loved. Whatever it was, it made Emily happy too. Sometimes I wondered if he made her happier than I did, and then I always realized that he did. Because not even once had he hurt her or disappointed her.

Maybe they will start dating once I'm out of the picture. Since I was so sure she was going to hate and despise me, I assumed it wouldn't be hard for her to move on. And I knew I was leaving her in good hands. Bu I could never come to terms with the fact that she wouldn't even want to see me ever again. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart with a knife, although that someone was actually me. I myself cause all of this. And now there was no chance of fixing anything, no turning back.

"Cameron? Honey, do you have all your things packed?" I heard my mom yell from downstairs. I sighed. "Yeah mom." I replied. I heard her walk up the stairs and towards my room. She appeared in my doorframe, her hands rubbing up and down her arms. "Baby if you don't want to do this then..." -

"Mom we have discussed this"

"Cameron. I want you to be sure about this" she came and sat down next to me. "I am" I nodded, mostly trying to convince myself. "Have you told Emily yet?" she asked and I shook my head. She let out a heavy breath, pressing her lips together. "You know you can still keep in touch with her" she said. "I can't. It will be harder to let go for both of us. I'm just going to ask about how she is doing whenever I talk with Nash or Taylor or Matthew. They are going to watch out for her, I know that. I'm really going to miss her." I spoke, my head handing low. "It's hard to fall in love at this age honey. I know how you feel. I want you to stay strong" she rubbed my back as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I love her"

"I know baby, I know" she brought me in a hug. "But you're going to fall in love so many times. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be. Maybe you're just not meant for each other. Just maybe, she's not the one for you. I don't want you to blame yourself about all this, okay? Life knows better where to lead you. You have to follow your heart. That's why I want you to tell me, and this I want to be your very final answer."

"Do you really want to leave?" She asked me, looking in my eyes. I took a deep breath and nodded my head.

This was it.