Depression (Niall Horan Love Story)

Chapter 4

I woke up to a loud bang. The bed I was in had no one beside me, so I got out of the bed and slowly made my way to the kitchen-like area of the bus. I slowly walked in to see Harry and Louis wrestling each other, Liam and Zayn trying to pull them off of each other, and Niall standing there with a bowl of cereal, watching it all..

I walked fully in "um, need any help," I asked, stifling a laugh. Harry and Louis looked over, and slowly let each other go. I smiled and made my way to make myself some cereal. As I was ouring it in my bowl I asked "what were you two fighting over anyway?" I instantly regretted it.

"Louis took my last taco," Harry said, pointing his finger in the direction of Louis. "It did not have your name on it, thus it was not yours," Lou retorted. "It was inside a bag that had written on it 'property of Harold,' dumb ass," then they were in each others faces.

"Boys," I said loudly, so I could get their attention. They turned to look at me "it doesn't matter, just get some more tacos.."

I took a bite out of my cereal as they hugged, followed by three other boys' laughter. I smiled, accomplished with myself. "Now, was that so hard," I asked, sarcasm evident in my voice. They each shook their heads, and my smiled grew.

I pourd the milk that I didn't finish off with my cereal into Niall's bowl, and smiled at him. He laughed, and I went to get changed. I put on black shorts with sparkles on the pockets, a cream white tank-top with the British flag on it, and straightened my hair down to the midst of my back.

I then tied it up with a ribbon I found in my bag, that must've been packed by accident. I took out my makeup bag and applied some concealer, lip gloss, and mascara. I always went for the natural look.

I smiled at my reflection, before taking my hair drier and drying mangs into a curve. I smiled, finally finished, when I walked out there was a line of five boys with clothes in their hands. "Sorry, maybe I should've gone last," I said putting on a nervous smile.

I walked top my bags and put everything back in it, can't trust these boys. With my luck they'd put the makeup on. Haha. I then realized I hadn't brushed my teeth, so I took my tooth brush and tooth paste and rushed over to the sink. I quickly went over them and rinsed and spit.

I ran my tongue along my teeth, smooth. I smiled and put everything away again. By time I was finished with that all of the boys were back and sitting in the ling-area.

I went and plopped down next to Liam. "Tell us about you, Love," he said when he looked over at me. "Not much to tell," Niall looked over at me after I said that. He knows I am lying.

"There has to be something," Zayn said, looking at me. "Well, I am eighteen, a senior in highschool, my last name is Falzone, I live with my mom. I have four bestfriends, Marisa, Mariah, Audrey and Andra," Harry's face turned crimson at the mention of Andra. "That's about it," I planned keeping it simple with the rest of them. Only Niall can know the really important stuff.

"You're boring," Louis muttered. Niall smacked him on the back of the head, I put on my fake smile. "I am going to go use the bathroom," I mumbled. I stood up and walked in the direction of the bathroom, when I got inside I took one of their razors. I placed it on my wrist.

I donn't know what compelled me to do it, but I did. It was just like when I was 14 again. The memories came flooding back.

"Oh, look at the emo girl, why don't you slit your wrists," Carlee said. She was one of my "friends," before she ofund out I cut. I forced back the chocking sound in my throat and kept walking. "Why don't you talk to me, or slit your wrists right here," I turned to look at her. The whole hallway was quiet. Everyone was starring.

"If you cut vertically no one will be able to save you. Incase you commit suicide tonight," she said with an innocent smile. I just shook me head. I walked into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me, and carved on the wall with my bloody razor "Depression is a world. Depression leaves you lost. Depression drops you into a never ending black hole. You want to get help, but you can't. When you do, you wish you didn't. Depression leaves you numb with fear. Depression leaves you no hope. No ambition. Nothing to look foward to. Tears well in your eyes. Depression leaks out, out into the open."

I took the razor from my wrist when I realized I was still going straight creating three long lines across. I sighed and applied pressure. Eventually it stopped, so I came out of the bathroom. I was glad I didn't cry, that would've been a disaster.

I found the guys in a huddle in the livingroom, I was a little worried, mainly because I was wearing a Tank-top and no bracelets. "Guys?"

They all turned around and ran at me, I landed on the floor with a thud. All of them tumbling ontop of me. I feel really bad for the bus driver..

I felt someone land on my wrist. It took every ounce of strength in my not to yelp, scream, or even whimper. I just waited for them to get up to check on it. When they finally did I realized who landed on it, Niall. Bad part was he was wearing a white T-shirt. I gulped. He had three lines of blood across his back.

I stood up and pressed my wrist to my black shorts, praying to stop the bleeding. "Mate, what is that on the back of your shirt," Zayn asked "is that blood," Liam added. They checked his back, where nothing was there. They then checked themselves. By the time they reached me I was forcing back tears.

"Cat," Harry asked stepping towards me. I stood up and began walking to Niall and I's bunk. "Lads, let me talk to her," Niall said. He came and sat next to me. If only he knew the things I have done that are worse then this.