Depression (Niall Horan Love Story)

Chapter 5

"I don't know why there was blood on your shirt," I said, trying not to make it obvious I was lying. "Then how'd it get there," he asked, looking at me suspiciously. "I don't know." His eyes went wide, and his mouth formed an 'o' shape "are you on your period??!"

I didn't know what else to go with, so I went with yes. "Ewe! Vagina blood!!" He quickly changed his shirt, I laughed a little at him. He smiled at me and we climbed out of the bunk. "It's all good, she's just on her period," Niall said, and the guys looked at him with a fearful expression.

I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch. All the boys sat on the other couch. Squeezing into the tiny space. I laughed and got up. "What're we doing today?"

"Going to our hotel, and then to sound-check for our concert tonight. Which, you are coming to," Zayn said. I nodded.

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We arrived at the hotel, and again, Niall and I had to share a bed. I sighed as I brought up one suitcase, because we'll only be here for one night. "Sorry you always have to bunk with him," Louis said behind me. "It's cool. I really don't mind."

"You like him, don't you!"

"No. I hardly like myself. Let alone, other people."

He never replied, just gave me a tight hug and left. I didn't think anything of it, though. I threw my hair into a ponytail and was ready to leave for the sound-check. "Come on, Cat!"

I sighed, and made my way out the door, grabbing one of the boys' hoodies as I went along. I slipped it over my head as we walked into the elevator. "My hoodie looks good on you," Harry said with a slight chuckle.

I laughed and looked down to see the purple "Jack Willis" hoodie I snatched. "I like it. Can I keep it?"

"Sure. It doesn't fit me anymore. Hasn't since I was sixteen."

"Yayy!!"

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It was almost time for the concert, and I was falling asleep in the dressing room the boys shared. They were walking around shirtless, though I didn't mind.. I rolled over, onto my stomach and began to fall asleep. I felt five kisses on the top of my head, and several 'sweet dreams' and 'I love you'. Followed by the sound of a closed door.

I drifted off to a peaceful sleep, the jacket Harry let me keep keeping me warm.

"We've got to wake her up," I heard Zayn say.

"No way. Not when she is on her peiod, Danielle is horrible when she is on hers," Liam replied.

"I got this," Niall said, as I was picked up off the comfy couch I was asleep on.

I groand and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kept my eyes closed as he walked out of the building. The dream I had replaying through my mind.

I was sitting in my bathroom back home, no one else was there. I was sitting there looking at the razor next to me. Next thing I knew I was slidding it down my wrist, not across. "Remember, it is down the road, not across the street," my high school bully said to me. I hadn't even known there was now an audience watching me. One Direction being in it.

I scanned the crowd as the tears fell down my cheeks, my mom and dad both sitting in the front row. I was sitting in the middle of a stage, people cheering me on, watching as the blood was flowing from my wrist.

The cut that couldn't be fixed. Niall appeard on the stage next to me and he picked me up, making me stand. "Your perfect," he said while he danced with me. Not even caring that I was ruining his shirt. He sang little things as I couldn't support myself and fell. It being over.

I hadn't realized I was whimpering until the boys were all trying to calm me down, little did they know what horrible dream it was. It didn't even feel like a dream, it felt so real.

I opened my eyes and saw all of the boys looking at me with worry. "Are you okay," Liam asked, feeling my forehead. I nodded and just hugged Niall closer to me. I was definitely closest with Niall. The other boys just didn't know so much about me, besides Louis.

He just heard me reading the note before I even went with them on this tour. "Are we home yet," I asked, trying to looked at the other boys, but not turning my head too far. "No, sorry, Love," Zayn said.

I sighed, and buried my head back in Niall's neck. "Don't worry, we'll be home soon," Louis said. "Just go back to sleep, we'll be back before you know it," Harry added on. I did as he said, or at least tried. But, every time I closed my eyes I saw the dream.

"Niall, can I walk," I asked him, he smiled and set me down. "Are you okay, you seem pretty pale," he said looking at me as we walked side by side. "Yeah, I'm fine," Niall towered over my tiny body. I was 5"5 and he had a good four feet on me, at the least.

We finally made it to the limo, screaming fans trying to pass the guards, and some of them sending me nasty glares. I tried my best to ignore it, some of them even screamed out "they are mine!"

I tried my best to hide myself from the fans, not really wanting to be in their view anymore. I squeezed between Harry and Zayn. "Don't worry, love. You'll be fine," Zayn reassured me. I nodded my head, but made sure I didn't look in the direction of the fans, or the paps.

We all climbed inside the limo, and I watched the fans as we drove by. To be honest I was scared to sit near a window, but I didn't say anything. I just sat there quietly, I was tired, but had a feeling I wouldn't fall back asleep anytime soon. I closed my eyes and listened to the boys' conversations.

"Admit it, Niall, you fancy her," Louis said. They must think I am asleep. I didn't do anything, though. I wanted to know if he liked me, so I kept my eyes closed. "No, I don't," he replied.

"Don't lie," Liam said.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Harry chimed in.

"Yeah man, it's obvious," Zayn agreed.

"So, even if I do. Would it be a problem?"

"Nah, you know her best, after all," Liam said.

"- and first," Harry agreed.

"We're back at the hotel," Liam said, and they all climbed out. Then Niall shook me, even though I was awake anyway. I opened my eyes, pretending like I just woke up. He helped me out of the car, and we both walked into the hotel.

We lay down in our bed, the other boys did as well, just not in ours.. Niall was asleep, I could tell by the soft snores that filled the room. I, on the other hand, was wide awake. This pattern repeats a lot. I get a good nights sleep, then I am awake for days.

I climbed out of the bed and went into the kitchen. Even though we didn't have food in it I looked through the cabinets anyway, it was a force of habit. When I didn't find anything I just sat on a barstool.

I looked out the window that overlooked the city below, from the kitchen. Fans had brought sleeping bags, not even Andra is that crazy. Although, I think her and Harry have something going on. I got bored of sitting and looking out the window, so I got a pen and paper.

I wrote the suicide note that I had memorized from when I was fifteen. I wrote it as many times as I could fit it on the paper. Tired. Can't sleep. Lonely. Hurt. Sad. Bullied. Don't be surprised when one morning you can't find me. I'll probably be hanging in the basement. At the bottom of a river, maybe. Alive, unlikely. Goodbye.

I filled the paper and the sun was coming up, I threw away the paper, after crumpling it up. I climbed back into bed with Niall, even though I never went to sleep.

"Morning," Niall said as he rolled over to face me. "Morning," I replied back. "Did you even sleep last night when we came back," he asked me, taking my face in his hands and looking at it, intently. "No."

"Okay, well, let's get dressed and go get some coffee?"