True Story ♥

heart or mind ?

Which one i should listen to ? My heart or my mind !? ... My heart that tells me to put everything behind and call him or my mind that tells me to stay strong and wait for him to call ! Well to be honest i do miss him but it's not that easy to just call him and tell him so . He must realize how bad he's been treating me lately , he must realize that he is wrong and that i don't deserve to be treated like that !
Do you know what i wish ? I wish for once he can see his mistakes and for once he can put everything behind him and show up at my neighberhood and call me to ask me to come out so he can hug me . You see ? A hug even without saying sorry can help ..it can  put an end to everything...it can figure things out .. But nope ! Im the one who does this kind if stuff , im the one who would show up suddenly at his door so i can be with him , im the one who would put everything behind for the good of our relationship once he needs me ! Unfortunatly he's the one that prefers his ego and pride over our relationship !
Its kinda heart breaking to see that some parts of your relationship are fading away , they are slowly crashing and desepearing taking with them every happy memory and taking from you everything precious you had !
Le changement cela me torture , c'est assez long et  assez remarquable pour que je ne m'en rend pas compte que tout ce qui me valait de plus cher au monde est entrain de s'effondre devant mes yeux sans que je puisse résister , sans que je puisse me battre pour qu'il ne disparaît pas . Mais ce qui me horrifis de plus et tue toutes gouttes d'espoir et de vie restantes dans mon âme est le fait que rien de ce que je puisse dire ou faire n'aideras à surmanter cette épreuve , rien de ce que je fait n'est utile . Car tout est dans ses mains ... Ouiiii !!
Je lui ai pas mal de fois prouvé que je metterais n'importe quelle chose au dessous de lui et je le passerais en premier .. Mais vraiment là...c'edt son tour de me prouver qu'il s'en fou de ces petits problèmes qu'on a et qu'il tient vraiment à moi , qu'il se battera toujours pour moi , qu'il ne renoncera jamais à moi , et que tout dont ce qu'il ma dit était vrai !
Its like a test that he must pass , he can succeed and he can fail ! Its up to him , its time that he prove to me that he really care about me , that he meant every single word , that he would fight for me to his last breath like he said , that he won't ever give up , that he put me first , and that he's able to put everything behind even his ego for our good like i proved to him !
I really hope that he pass this test ... Actually I didn't plan for it , i would never think of something like that , but it came alone , we are having a bad time so it's for him now to show me that i mean that much to him like he told me or not ! He have to prove that every word he said is true , that it wasn't just words made up to simply  fill the lines so he can impress me ! I so want him to prove that because i would do that if i was in his place like i did before ! I put him first before and i will do it everytime !
Was it true or fake ? It's up to him to decide ! It's up to him to choose ..and only him !!