Inpatient

Chapter One

Charlie Brennan sat at her desk in her bedroom with her geography book open in front of her. Text books were piled high next to her, her school journal on top with the list of her seemingly everlasting homework inside. As she sat at her desk her mind wandered, to things that were unrelated to the topic of over population in Kolkata that she was working on. She thought about things such as her previous life, if she had even had one, and what her own life held in stock for her. She wanted to do well in life, to make something worthwhile out of her time on earth, but over the past while, she wasn't so sure whether or not she would. Charlie worked well in school, she was a quiet girl who was rarely in trouble, and she always turned homework and assignments in on time. However, this wasn't enough for her parents. They wanted only the best for, and from her, including her academic and extra-curricular activities. They pushed her to work hard at everything. Charlie was a bright seventeen year old girl, but not straight A standard. Earlier that day, she had gotten her result from her maths exam from last week, and considering maths was both her worst and least favourite subject, Charlie was delighted when she received a C+, but she was well aware of how her parents would feel about it.

"Charlotte, dinners ready, come downstairs please." Charlie's mom, Victoria's, voice came from the bottom of the stairs. Charlie's full name was Charlotte, but only her handful of friends called her Charlie. "Coming!" she answered. Downstairs at the dining room table, Charlie's younger brother Alex, who was fourteen years old, was ranting about his chemistry teacher. The smell of pork chops filled the kitchen. Charlie sat down next to her Dad, Benjamin, who was only half listening to Alex. "I'm just so annoyed. I deserved at least 92% on my recent assignment, but Mr. O'Brien only gave me 90%. It's ridiculous, I don't know what he was thinking." Alex complained. Alex was a straight A student in every subject, and even though he was only in second year, he was studying chemistry, biology, and maths at fifth year level, in his spare time. His teachers had always spoken highly of him, since the day he started school, as did his parents, who bragged about their "little genius" to all of their friends. Next to Alex, sat Lucas, the oldest of the Brennan children, at twenty one years of age. He was the sports star of the family, after having won a full scholarship to college for rugby. He was your typical rugby player; tall, with massive shoulders and thighs, and incredibly strong. He had always been the popular guy in school. Girls drooled over his big brown eyes and chestnut coloured hair. Lucas Brennan could do no wrong in the eyes of his parents, or anyone, for that matter. And then, you had Charlotte, the forgotten middle child. For seventeen years, Charlie's parents had pushed and pressured her to be more like her brothers. Her passion was music, and she had played the piano since the age of six, but the pressure from her parents to spend all of her free time practicing to be the best had taken all of the fun out of it and now she thought of it as a chore.

"How was your day at school Charlotte?" asked Victoria. "Fine." Replied Charlie, with her mouth full of potato. "Did you get your maths exam back?" Charlie stared down at the food on her plate and pushed the sweetcorn around with her fork. "Yeah, I did." She said without looking up. "And?" her mom asked. All eyes were now staring in Charlie's direction. She exhaled before replying. "I got a C+." Victoria sighed. Benjamin looked at his daughter with disappointment. "That's just not good enough Charlotte. Did you not study for it?" asked Victoria. "Of course I did." Replied Charlie. Anger was rising in her. "I'm just not good at maths." "Well you'll have to work harder and get that grade up in your next exam." Said her Dad. Charlie sighed and returned her attention to her dinner plate. She took one more mouthful, and then excused herself from the dinner table. As she walked up the stairs, tears filled her eyes and escaped down her face. Once alone in her bedroom, she shut her door and locked it. She then kneeled down next to her bed and reached under it. She pulled out a shoe box and opened it up. Inside were her diaries, dating all the way back to Christmas 2011. Under her diaries, was half a nail scissors, which she had broken a few years ago. Charlie grabbed it, and begun to attack her wrist.

Things had started to get bad for Charlie about two and a half years ago when she was just fourteen years old. The pressure had started building from her parents about her school work and piano practice. She felt she wasn't good enough for them and that they were constantly disappointed in her. This led her to feel depressed, worthless, and disappointed in herself. It was around then that she had started self-harming. Charlie never let anyone in, and nobody knew she was suffering. A falling out with her ex-best friend, Eva, had left her with major trust issues so instead of sharing her problems, she bottled everything up and kept it all inside. Now, Charlie had several old scars, some new scars, some cuts that were beginning to heal, and now, fresh cuts.

At this stage, Charlie had been crying so much that her vision was completely blurred. She didn't have the motivation or energy to finish her homework. All she wanted to do was to curl up in bed and cry. Crying herself to sleep had become a regular occurrence for Charlie. When she was lying in bed at night, it was an opportunity for the voice in her head to become even louder than normal. This voice usually echoed her parents. It told her that her school work wasn't good enough, that she wasn't good enough, that she wasn't smart enough, that she wasn't pretty enough, that no one wanted to be friends with her, and that she was worthless and a waste of space. After hearing all of this, over and over again for the past two and a half years, Charlie had begun to believe it. She now believed that her family would be better off without her.

Charlie's alarm woke her up at half seven the following morning. "Ugh!" she groaned as she turned over and put her pillow over her head. She lay in bed until she couldn't possible stay there any later. After her morning routine that consisted of going to the toilet, brushing her teeth, putting her school uniform on, tying up her hair, and then complaining about how she looked in the mirror, she strolled downstairs into the kitchen. Charlie was lucky that her school uniform had a long sleeved blouse that covered up her arms so nobody could see her cuts. Once she arrived at school, she took her seat in the classroom next to her best friend, Olivia, just as the first bell rang at quarter to nine.