Distraction

15

"It's Christmas eve!" Yelled Riley, springing out if bed like a kid. Maya groaned and tucked her head into her pillow.
"Breakfast time."
"No. I don't want the stupid tube. I have to keep it in all day. It's just embarrassing."
"You need it."
"Let me starve."
"It's almost Christmas. Cheer up."
"Riley. I told you, I'm not religious."
"It's still a happy time." Maya rolled out of bed, carful not to hit Emse and grabbed a sweater and jeans, going into the bathroom.
"Riley, so you have a belt?"
"I'll leave it on the bed." When Maya had the tube, hat, and belt, she finally came into the kitchen.
"What's up your nose." Asked Auggie, sitting next to her on the couch.
"It's a feeding tube."
"Feeding."
"Well, I can't eat. So instead I wear this so I can have food in me before I learn to eat again."
"You forgot how to eat?"
"I guess. But I'll remember."
"Weird. Mommy, I'm going to my room." He said, springing to his feet and running out.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine." She said, standing back uo and walking to the sink as Cory placed the bottles down.
"Could I have a tramadol, please?"
"You're in pain?"
"You usually don't ask me."
"No pain. No pain medicine. Till you admit it." Maya took her other medicine and sat back down with Riley, falling asleep in minutes. She woke up to her head feeling crushed and an excessive about of pain in it. Tears started filling her eyes.
"All you had to do was say it hurts."
"It hurts. It hurts a lot." She said though tears. "It always hurts."
-
Maya's POV
I tuck the white tube behind my ear, place the tape on, adjust my beanie and look in the mirror. My skin is pale, I look cold and I've lost weight. Sighing I put my small bag for the tube on my shoulder and walk back out to the living room.
"Maya." Say's Shawn. I look back up from my feet.
"Hey."
"Hey, merry Christmas." He says with a look of pity. I hate being pitied.
"Too you too."
"Maya, grab your jacket. We're headed to mass in a few.
"Mass?"
"Right. Please Maya. Just come to one."
"It's not the first time you've been out with the tube so don't use that as an excuse." Say's Riley.
"It can't hurt."
"Fine." When we get outside I'm freezing. Josh rubs my back to try and warm me up but I just run ahead to Riley. I'm too embarrassed at how weak I've become and how much I forced myself on him before. Everyone's embarrassed of things they did when they were younger but I barely know where that person is. The church is warm when we get inside and we go to the back because it's pull. A lady on the back bench stands up.
"Here you go dear." She says.
"That's very kind of you but I can stand."
"I'll just stand back here. I can see better anyways."
"Thank you." Say's Topanga, placing her hand on my back and walking me over.
"I'm not sitting."
"Maya-"
"No way. I'm not-" I almost say sick. "I don't need to sit." She tilts her head and rubs my arm with a sad look in her eyes. I look back down and walk to the side.

Corys POV
As Mass wraps up there's not quite as many people. Maya's looking down at her feet and Riley's looking at her as they lean against the wall.
"Now. If you don't come every week you might not know that I usually spend some of the time in mass talking about things that might relate more directly to you. Things going on around here and the people in your life. Today I wanted to wrap up by talking about faith and hope." Says the priest.
"Now. What is faith?"
"Young lady in the front."
"What you believe?" Says a little girl sitting in one of the front seats.
"Yes. A strong belief in God or complete trust or confidence in some one or something. Something you can't see. Seeing you don't know for certain. Now there's people that say they've gone to heaven and come back. There's many stories and people always find a way to say it's not true. Anyone hear about that new hallucinating thing they think it is?" A few people nodded. "But you know how many people believe these stories? That's faith. There's always a way to say it didn't happen but our faith is what makes us believe it did. And I'm sure everyone in here prefers there being something for you after death. But I'm not sure all of you do." Maya pushes off the wall so she's on her feet and faces slightly forward. "So what if you have no faith?" He looks at her. "You're not afraid of death, or you're too afraid of death. You you just have no clue because you have nothing to base it off of." He looks back at everyone. "There are no answers. If you don't believe in something, theres nothing to hold onto." She looks back at me.
"We kinda know each other." I whisper. I expect her to be angry or something but she isn't. As soon as the priest is done she hugs me. "Sometimes I guess it's easier to understand from someone not quiet as close to you personally. See. Didn't it help?"
"Sorta. Faith takes strength. It's not easy to believe in something like that."
"But once you do, everything else is easier."
"I sure hope. That's if I can."
"You can." We walk out and over to the car. Shawn, Riley, and Maya are in the back. I can see them out if the corner of my eyes in the mirror when we pass street light.
"Maya?" Asks Riley. That's when I first notice a sniffle. "Maya, what's wrong."
"I- I need tremadol." She whispers.
"Oh, Maya." Says Topanga. "We'll be back soon. Is it your head?"
"It's everything."

3rd POV
"Everything?" Maya nodded.
"Aches?" Maya nodded.
"Maya, it's not for suicidal people. I know it hurts but it's making you worse." Maya nodded, pulling her knees in and trying to quiet her sobs.
"Cory." Said Shawn.
"It was not an easy decision Shawn. Please don't try and make me crack."