Condoriano's Greasy Haired Adventure

You Will Remember The Name Of Condoriano

You Will Remember The Name Of Condoriano

It was a bright sunny day in Newton Abbot, people were living their daily lives just like they always did. At least until they saw the men in black suits heading towards the town. News quickly spread throughout the town and people went inside they did not want to cross the path of members of The Hele Family.

"Hey anglos! Who have we come to kill anyway? Said one of the men in the black suits. "Huh? You really are an idiot aren't you Saxon? We've come to this town to kill the deserter, we got a report from one of our agents saying that he was spotted here." Replied Anglos, his face looked unamused at his partner. "We're members of The Hele Family, one of the biggest criminal organisations," Said Anglos crossly. "People recognise us by our bullseyes on the front and back of our suits, it represents the fact that we can walk freely in the open without being threatened."

They walked on, they looked in the shops and in the taverns but it had seemed that everywhere was shut. Damn thought Anglos! They must have seen us coming and evacuated to an emergency centre somewhere in town, if that's the case then the deserter must've ran off as well. "Anglos look!" Exclaimed Saxon, pointing to a restaurant that had people inside. "Should we go in? Maybe we can find some information on the deserter." Said Saxon hopefully.

They went in and saw that there were two males in the restaurant, one behind the counter was old, had white hair and a small white beard, he also had a permanent unnatural grin on his face. The other was guzzling away at some chicken smothering it in gravy then licking at his fingers like some kind of beast. The man was very young, perhaps even a teenager and had long brown hair that shined like silver in the glaring light.

Saxon looked at the old man as if he was about to kill him. What are you smiling at you damn fool, what's so funny huh? you wanna die or something?" Saxon reached for his red katana when Anglos stepped between his partner and the old man. "You idiot," said Anglos. "We finally find someone in this town and you wanna kill him,". Anglos then turned his attention to the old man. "Hey old man, why haven't you gone to the shelter with all the others? That's where they're at right?"

"Yes that's where they are, I would like to join them but KFC never closes when there's a customer to be fed," the old man said looking at the teenager from behind the counter. "Anyway, that's not important" said Anglos "We are here on very important business." Saxon then pulled a photograph from his pocket and handed it to Anglos". We're looking for this boy, he may not look it but he's about the same age as that kid there and he's very high high on our wanted list". Said Anglos to the old man.

The old man shook his head disappointedly. "Sorry gentlemen but I haven't seen him, Newton Abbot is a bigger town than Torquay and he has probably long gone".

"I see," said Anglos. "Well I guess we should be going then". "Come on Saxon" he said as he was exiting the building. "Right," said Saxon as he followed him. Just as they left the premises the sound of a toilet chain being flushed came from KFC behind them. "Stop!" Said Anglos "Saxon did you hear that?" Saxon smiled and clenched his fist. "Oh yeah" he said "I've been itching for a fight. Out of the KFC toilet came the boy from the photograph. "Thanks for the meal old man". The boy said. The boy walked outside, whistling a little tune as he did so. He then saw the members of The Hele Family staring directly at him. "Oh shit!" Shouted the boy as he ran in the opposite direction. "Stay here and destroy this restaurant Saxon" said Anglos "I'll go after Ryan. Anglos then sprinted along the same path that the boy, Ryan had gone down.

Saxon clicked his knuckles as he walked towards the KFC entrance doors. "Good, now I have a reason to smack that ridiculous smile off your Godforsaken face." The old man was clearly panicking but was still smiling. "Hey!" He said to the customer, "you better get out of here, don't you know who these guys are they're the delivery boys of The Hele Family!". The long haired boy swallowed his popcorn chicken and looked up. "Delivery boys?" He asked "I didn't order a pizza."

The old man sighed and unstrapped his apron. "I see you aren't going to move until you have finished your food, I guess I will have to fight for the both of us". Saxon had already unsheathed his katana by this point "You think you can go up against a delivery boy of The Hele Family old man?" He asked, gripping his sword with more and more force. "I will deliver your soul to the next life like I have with dozens of others!". He lunged towards the old man at full speed. However, as he was doing this the long haired boy wiped the gravy from his mouth with his sleeve and stood up.

Saxon's sword had somehow been slice into several pieces that were lying on the floor. "No!" He shouted "that sword was one of Grand Lady Holly's favorites from her collection, the red blood of a thousand children! But now it's on the floor in smithereens. How did this happen" The long haired boy licked his lips and started to speak. "Sorry, I'm the one who did that. It is very complicated so listen up. I have the power of pilorum kinesis. That means that I can control my hair at will and move it at speeds far beyond what normal humans can see. When I discovered this 10 years ago I made sure to never once shower my hair so it would become extra greasy and super tangled so that no sword can cut it, I also made it my dream to go to protect every KFC in the world, so sorry I can't let you kill this man or damage his restaurant".

Saxon looked astonishingly at the boy and started to laugh. "Ha ha ha! You expect me to believe that shit? Let's see how your greasy hair deals against bullets!". Saxon grabbed his pistol from the holster on his right leg and shot directly at the boy's head. "GREASY HAIR SHIELD!" Shouted the boy and his hair went to his aid. "It must've been a fluke or something, the gun must've been a dud there's no way you can have survived three bullets to the head and not even have a scratch". The boy smiled and said "You still don't believe me well let me tell you this, I don't know who you are but apparently you've got a bad reputation and you tried to kill the owner of a KFC restaurant, so you've gotten me really pissed now, if you survive this fight you and your whole God-damned family will believe the words and remember the name of Condoriano!".

"Condoriano? That's your name then?" Asked Saxon slowly backing away. "You think that you can deal with The Hele Family just because you have some weird power? There are people in the family who have powers way scarier than yours you don't stand a chance". Saxon turned around now and started to run with all his might "Anglos HELP!".

The old man turned to Condoriano and said "You're not gonna go after him?" Condoriano looked down and said "He's out of my hairs range now and it's not good to run without tying your shoelaces first. Only one problem, I don't know how to tie my shoelaces".

"What?" Asked the old man. "You must be in your late teens and you can't even tie your own shoes?". Condoriano walked to a chair and sat down. "I'll catch up to him later, while I'm waiting how about you get me the deluxe boneless feast".