Condoriano's Greasy Haired Adventure

The Unstoppable Ryan!

Ryan lunged at Condoriano, however, he changed his mind and put his sword back in his sheath and jumped back to his original spot. "You first, lets see what you are made of Condoriano and by the way, I am bisexual," he said. Condoriano put his hands together and positioned himself in a strange stance. "GREASY... ENERGY... DESTRUCTION..." as Condoriano was saying this, odd greasy energy was manifesting itself in his hands. "...WAVE!!!!" As he finished, Condoriano shot the energy straight from his hands, similarly to what Anglos did with his didgeridoo. Ryan stretched out his hand and before the grease could touch him, it faded away into smoke. "How boring," said Ryan.  "I thought you were more powerful than that, your energy attacks aren't nearly as fast as Anglos' but I'd say they are more destructive, if this hit me, then I'd actually be phased, maybe even entertained, oh and I don't think you heard me before when I said that I was bisexual". 

Condoriano immediately prepared for his next attack. He formed his hair in the shape of his signature hammer and charged towards Ryan. "GREASY HAIR HAMMER!" he yelled. 'What should I do here' thought Ryan, as if he had all the time in the world. 'I know! I'll nullify his kinetic energy, freezing him for a few seconds, that'll give me plenty of time to punch him a few thousand times.' As Condoriano was running towards Ryan, he tripped on his untied shoe laces and fell straight on the floor near Ryan's feet. Ryan was surprised to say the least, in all the battles the he had fought in he had noticed a correlation between power and badassery, yet Condoriano, while wielding awesome power, was literally tripping over his own feet. 

Shannon looked over this in amazement, as a priestess of the Church of Sarah, she had been trained in combat and had even held her own against super powered beings before, but nothing quite like this, and Ryan hadn't even warmed up yet. She began to wonder if the higher members of the Church also wielded this kind of power. She also wondered what would happen to her if Condoriano, despite his strange abilities cannot win this battle, will she be killed by the merciless Ryan. "Wait!" she said. Ryan looked at her and so did Condoriano once he got himself up. "You don't have to fight, I can't give you much Ryan Hele, but I can give you free food, how about a subway on me?" Condoriano shook his head and said "I don't want subway, do I look like a homeless person to you?" Ryan crossed his arms and looked at Shannon straight in the eye. "You fucking bitch!" he exclaimed. "As tempting as that is, I do not need free food, for one thing I can steal all the food I want, it is hardly well protected from the likes of me, and two, I know how many calories there are in a subway and I'm on a diet... A bisexual diet". 

While Ryan was off his guard, Condoriano pushed him back, into a web that he made with his hair when Shannon and Ryan where talking. Ryan went straight into the web and was stuck. Condoriano grinned and shouted "GREASY HAIR SPIDER WEB!" Condoriano scratched his butt and turned to Shannon. "After every fight, I grow slightly stronger and it is mostly due to the new techniques I think of, like this web I made. Don't bother struggling Ryan, nothing is stickier than my greasy hair".

Shannon ran into Condoriano's arms "That was great, but now what do we do with him?" Condoriano put her down and turned back to Ryan, "He is an enemy to KFC, so he must be killed." Ryan started to laugh, he laughed an evil laugh. "Oh you idiots," he said. "The sword in my sheath is the legendary dragon sword, it can create and control fire, therefore the user can create or control fire, even if they are not touching the sword, and do you know what is highly flammable? That's right.. grease." 

Half a second after Ryan had finished his little speech, Condoriano's web burst into flames and Ryan was standing unharmed and un phased. "Now," he said "It's my turn, and I don't play nice, and I'm bisexual if you were wondering". Condoriano signalled for Shannon to get back as the fight was going to continue. This angered Ryan he clenched his fists in rage. "I bet that you would make her fight alongside you if she was a man, you feminazi piece of shit!" Condoriano tried not to laugh. "What?" he asked. "I don't give a shit about gender, I just care about my friends and KFC and you are threatening both."

Faster than even Condoriano could see, Ryan slashed his sword around Condoriano's body and set all of his hair ablaze. Condoriano started to panic, the source of his power had gone all he could feel, was loss and pain anger. "You dare, you little shit, what have you done, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Condoriano instinctively shot a chicken bone out of his hand and he did this repeatedly on rapid fire. However, while this easily defeated Anglos, Ryan was nearly effortlessly dodging every single bone Condoriano was shooting at him, they went straight through the church walls and caused a lot of panic outside. "A higher up from a nearby cathedral will come to help now, it has to," whispered Shannon to herself. 

Ryan then decided he was bored and caught one of the bones in mid air and launched it back at Condoriano. However, due to Condoriano's abilities it phased through him and rejoined his skeleton and left him unharmed. Ryan stopped dodging now and simply nullified the kinetic energy from the bones and they fell to the church floor. Ryan then launched at Condoriano once again with his sword unleashed, heading towards Condoriano at blinding speeds. But before he could reach his target he dropped his sword and put his hand to his head in pain. Condoriano looked puzzled and asked "What's wrong?". 

"Migraine!" said Ryan as he fell to the floor. Condoriano rubbed his hands together, "Well that was lucky wasn't it Shannon?" Condoriano turned around to see that Shannon had been impaled by a sword through the back, it looked like Ryan's sword only it had a green edge instead of a red one. It was the sword of the dog who raised him. A familiar figure appeared from behind Shannon as her corpse fell to the ground, and the figure bared her fangs as her familiar voice said "Hello Michael!"