Reset (Sans x Older!Frisk)

16- Parting

Everyone had crowded around Frisk as she sat up; all of her friends, all of the monsters she had met.

"HUMAN, YOU'RE OKAY!" Papyrus shouted, and Frisk smiled even though she felt like her ears were going to bleed from the short-range yelling.

"The barrier's gone!" Undyne put in, grinning, "It disappeared while you were asleep, along with all the human souls. I guess I didn't have to kill you after all!"

For a moment Frisk was dumbstruck by the news. Had Asriel used Chara's soul as the last human soul to break the barrier? He'd given Frisk two miracles in one day and she'd done nothing in return.

"Are you alright, my child?" Toriel asked, looking concerned, "You were sleeping for a while."

"I'm alright," Frisk responded. And it was the truth- Chara was gone. She probed around in her mind, like searching for the spot where she'd lost a tooth. It wasn't a bad feeling, but strange- she wasn't used to the silence in her head contrasting so sharply with the ruckus outside it.

But it meant that it was finally over.

"Let's go to the surface," Frisk offered, and the delight that shone on her friends faces made every step of her fight almost worth it.

As they walked out of the tunnel and into the beckoning light, Sans fell into step with her, behind the rest of their friends. "I'm glad you're okay, kid," he said, flashing her one of those rare genuine smiles.

Frisk nudged him playfully with her shoulder. "I'm not a kid," she mock-argued, returning his grin, "I'm almost as old as you."

"Really," he answered with teasing skepticism, but his emotions showed through. Relief that she had made it out, that Chara was gone. Joy that the barrier was broken. And something else, something new.

"Really," Frisk confirmed, and leaned in to kiss him quickly before drawing away, grinning widely.

If only everything could have been that easy.

Frisk chose to stay with Toriel on the surface- she was nearly old enough to live by herself but not quite, and she had years of school to make up for besides.

But when for the third night in a row since reaching the surface Frisk had woken up screaming from nightmares of her own making, she knew she couldn't stay. With Chara gone her memories came back easier, and every time she looked at her friends she remembered their deaths. Over and over, again and again.

She couldn't face them until she could truly face herself- look at herself in the mirror and forgive herself. And to do that, she needed time. She needed to heal.

She crept out of her bedroom, grabbing a backpack, food, and a couple water bottles. She hesitated taking money, hand hovering over Toriel's wallet, but decided against it. The monsters had to work hard to make a life for themselves in this world- she had no right to take it away.

It was almost too easy to slip out of the door of her apartment, but a figure was waiting for her in the hallway. She had almost forgotten about the other monsters that had decided to rent apartments here

"Hey, kid," the figure said from the shadows, and Frisk's heart sank. She hadn't wanted to run into anyone, least of all Sans- he could read her like a book.

"What are you doing here?" Frisk asked lightly, hoping he couldn't see her face in the dimness. Her shame, her need to be away. There was barely enough light for her to see him, but she could see just enough of his face to trigger the memories. Of fighting him over and over, him trying to stop her from ending the world. Even if it had been Chara's doing, it had been through Frisk's body, her face. How could he forgive her? How could he even stand to look at her?

"Couldn't sleep, didn't want to wake Paps," he responded, grinning and shrugging, "So I decided to go for a walk." His voice knocked Frisk out of her reverie, and she nodded, not knowing what to say. "But I could ask you the same thing," he continued, then noticed her backpack, and everything about his demeanor seemed to tense, sharpen. He looked back up at her face, searching her eyes for some kind of clue. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it. "Where are you going?" he asked, tone drastically darker.

For a moment she considered lying to him- she hated lying to anyone, Sans least of all, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Even if it would spare him pain if she lied, he deserved the truth from her.

"I'm leaving," Frisk said softly, "For... I don't know how long."

"Why?"

"Every time I look at you, at all of you," Frisk replied, struggling for words, "I remember what I've done."

"It wasn't really you," Sans said, voice low and vehement, then added more gently, "I forgave you a long time ago."

"But I need to forgive myself," Frisk answered. She smiled, trying for lightness. "And besides, isn't it part of my role as the ambassador for the monsters? To travel and help monsters who need me?"

Sans appraised her silently for a moment- she couldn't tell whether he was out of arguments or whether he simply realized the futility of it.

"And there's nothing I can say to stop you?" he finally asked.

"No," Frisk replied with finality, "I'm sorry." She closed the distance between them, laying her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her. "I'll miss you."

She felt him take in a sharp breath and wondered if he was crying. She'd never seen him cry before, and for a moment her resolve faltered. But she knew she had to do this- to fix herself.

His voice was soft when he spoke again. "Just promise me that someday you'll come home."

"I promise," she said firmly, then stepped away from the embrace, walking quickly down the hallway and towards the exit.

And disappearing into the night.  

"The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again."

~Charles Dickens