Silent Suffering

Chapter One; A glance into the green

Subtle comments can change a life completely, coupled with a low self esteem and the death of a parent and you don't have much hope left.

I was born by the name Xia Willow Collins, But in my current life I am known by the names; It, Wallflower, Bitch and She.
And if you are wondering most of these are used by my father.

The people at school who don't like to socialise, have no friends and don't talk to anyone are known by the term Wallflower as the rest of the student population don't have the time or effort to remember our names, even our teachers struggle to remember.

So I guess being a wallflower and having the home life I do, has created the person I am today. And the circumstances I struggle with daily.

I am nothing but a disappointment.

---
I woke to the rapid buzzing of the intercom beside my bed, signaling that my father was impatiently waiting for his breakfast.
I glanced at the circular clock on the side of my cabinet which read 6:48.
I was 18 minutes late, which meant I would be punished after school.

I ran out of bed, dressing the clothes which I had laid out last night.
Pulling my tights up as I walked down stairs I was ready.

"I'm so sorry father." I apologised knowing that talking in anger would only worsen the punishment.

Hastily I grabbed things from the counters and began to create a breakfast, after I had served a meal with his black coffee I was done for the morning.

Waiting to be dismissed I stood by the door patiently, my hands behind my back and my posture straight.

"Leave now" he spoke gruffly with a mouth full of food.

I wish he would choke on his food.

One day. Maybe.

At the door my backpack and skateboard stood proudly.
After securing my bag to my back I skated off to school, luckily for me it wasn't very far.

The streets were more or less still empty but I guess that's because it has only turned 7:03.
The school was empty as usual.

Skating into the school, not caring that I was in the school corridor.

Once at my locker I place my board in for later use and sorted my bag out, making sure I had all my class notes and Homework projects and essays.

I wasn't the smartest person but being organised definitely helped when it came to class.

The night before a lesson I always complete the set work and learn everything I would in the lesson so I don't have to listen to the teacher's droning on about topics that they are simply copying from the textbook.

Silently I walked to my first classroom of the day, Form room, where I will have to sit with everyone I have known since year five, but they still don't know my name.

Mr Percy wasn't there as usual.
So I sat at the back table pluged in my headphones and put my hood over my head as I rested on the table, my hair creating a curtian between my self and reality.

One of the secrets I hold in this school is that my father- the abusive pig -is actually the head teacher.

Not that anyone cares to find out.

They don't even know my name so how would they know we are related.

The whole school has put my father on a pedestal of lies, they all believe him to be a cool guy for a teacher anyway.
If only they knew how abusive he truly was in my reality.

Fools the lot of them...

After half an hour of blissful Punk I woke to a sharp jab in the ribs.

I looked up to see smouldering emerald orbs staring down at me, the mystery guy had a prominent smirk pulling at his lips which only accentuated his angelic features and let his lip ring gleem.

"Anyone sitting here" He spoke, gesturing to the chair beside me.

I shrugged my shoulders in reply.
Silently hope full that he would come to sense and sit else where.

This guy had barely been talking to me for one minute and he was already getting on my nerves.

But he was the first pupil to spare words since year six.

Who was this person.

I shook my head a plugged my headphones back in so I could carry on listening to my music and block out his ignorance.

He must be a new kid, but who would willingly come to this school?

It was hell on earth.

Seconds later the classroom filled and fellow Wallflowers sat down at the table I had chosen, not a word was uttered.

We all understood each other and the need for silence.

The mystery guy still looked at me in curiosity.
"Right everybody, it a new day and we have a new pupil joining our team. Welcome Mr Seth Cole."
Mr Percy announced as the room had filled.
Since when did he get here so early ?

I looked at Seth curiously, why did he choose to talk to me of all people.

What a strange morning.

"Right then, you guys know the drill, raise your hand if you are present and put the hand down when I have counted you." Mr Percy spoke.

If you're wandering this idea of counting the students was one of the factors leading no one to knowing my name.

I raised my hand as did the rest of the people on my table.

Even I didn't know their names.
All members of the wallflower community where anonymus.
Yes we knew each other's faces but we didn't know any further information about each other.

"Okay then you are all accounted for, you may now leave to first lesson." Mr Percy spoke, as if he knew what he was doing but it was safe to say that all the teachers in this establishment where clueless, hence why everyone has come to teach themselves the syllabus.

I got out of my seat and straightened my skirt and adjusted my top.
Luckily for myself I had a free period first lesson so I could take my sweet time.

Casually I walked down the corridors until I got to the Roof doorway, when at which I glanced around the corridor to make sure I was alone then ran through the door.

Technically students weren't allowed up here, but for me it's the only place I know I'm safe from my father and the other pupils.

Once on the roof top my anxiety calmed as a smooth breeze fluttered against my pale skin.

This roof top is the only place I can call home, I'm here enough anyway.

As this part of the roof was hidden by the schools name sign I was able to hide myself and other things up here without the knowledge of any of the student-body.

I sat on the rusted bench and relaxed against the cool metal, which had an instant calming effect.

The day hadn't even begun and I already had to seek asylum.

I don't what is in store for the rest of the day but that glance into the green eyes of Seth Cole gave me some prosperity, knowing that the world isn't full of dark hearted soles.

As simple as a exchange of words is, it brought more hope than I had achieved in a life time.