The Boy In The Blue Sweater

Two

The long, heated day had finally come to an end. The last bell rang and students scattered about. Amongst the large crowd of students, I walked slowly, idly chatting with Tony about the last class. I told him about my other school in Chicago, how we'd only stay in one classroom and learn seven subjects. I liked that we changed classes for every subject. It brought some variety and freeness. I told him about being bored the entire time and he agreed. We had a lot of things in common and soon I found myself liking him more and more.
We stopped at the exit gate, Tony let me through first. Still a gentleman. We walked down the long sidewalk and said our goodbyes. As I walked to my ride, I felt myself warm and fuzzy inside. Could I be in love? I pondered to myself silently. For once I couldn't wait to go back to school so I could see him again.
I got in the car and thought to myself endlessly. We arrived to our home shortly. I lived with my grandma and cousins. The house was crowded and all I could do is sit outside on the chairs and draw. I didn't want to be in there. I only went in occasionally for certain things or to sleep. I had also spent the beginning days of living here outside with my sister. We talked about everything together. We were very close and I felt like I could tell her everything and that night I did. She was happy for me. She knew I struggled with self confidence and hoped that Tony liked me back soon. She and I had trouble loving who we are for as long as I can remember.
That night I lay awake, still thinking about Tony and hoping that it was not just an act or just his friendliness. Maybe I was taking his kindness in a different way. He could just be a friendly person and I would look stupid of I just assumed he liked me. Or worse , he could be a player. He hasn't shown any signs of liking me. My stomach tied itself in a knot. I shut my eyes and clenched the blanket.

The next morning I got up extra early and took a shower. I spent time looking in the mirror and fixing myself up. I normally wouldn't do this but, I stupidly wanted to impress him. However, I still couldn't find the confidence to wear tight clothing or shorts, even in this weather. I brushed my long, dark hair down to my lower back. I lifted it up to put it in a ponytail but, lost the confidence and let it back down. My face is... Not good enough.

On the way to school my stomach fluttered and jumped just thinking about him. I had secretly hoped that he'd be there waiting for me. On second thought I would be embarrassed if my mom saw us together.
I got out of the car and waved goodbye to my mom. I slowly walked through the grass and onto the school campus. The smell of dry grass filled my nostrils with nostalgia. I remembered that Tony and I didn't make any plans to meet yesterday. Now that I know where my classes are he won't help me anymore... I headed down the hall and to the main court area closest to my first classroom. I searched though my backpack out of boredness since I was 20 minutes early for school. My thoughts were now distracted by the fact that pe now meant changing into pe uniform and doing excersises. In my old school, we didn't change clothes or even go outside for pe. And we rarely did have that class.

"Yasmin!" Tony came from behind. This time he wasn't wearing his sweater, but pe clothes instead. The t shirt was gray and had the school logo in the middle. Under the logo the name Anthony Nguyen was hand printed messily. His shorts were black with the school logo on his left leg side. Based on the colors of his clothing, that meant he was in 7th grade, like I was. The 8th graders wore red and gray.
"What's with the pe clothes?" I giggled.
"I have pe first period" he informed bluntly. "The locker room was already open so why not?" He sat next to me casually. This time I was brave enough to not move over a little bit. I wanted to sit closely with him.
I looked down at his legs. They were shaved, surprisingly. Tony noticed that I was looking at his cleanly shaven legs.
"I swear I'm not gay" he laughed, "they're naturally like this."
"Lucky you" I said playfully.
The 20 minutes went by fast and as I walked away, Tony grabbed my shoulder awkwardly. I stared back at him stupidly.
"Uh.." He stammered, "do you want to meet by the main court during break?"
"Sure!" I replied quickly. A little too quick.
And with that, he ran off into a group of guys I assumed were his friends. They were a bit taller than him, but of course he was the best looking of all.

In class I daydreamed like a love sick fool. How pathetic of me to fall for someone I just met yesterday. I really hoped this just wasn't him being friendly or a player.
"Do you have paper?" The girl next to me interrupted my thought.
I handed her paper quietly and she smiled thankfully. She's really pretty. I thought while looking at the corner of my eye. I wanted to be like her, skinny and confident. And thus, I fell into the hole of my self hatred.

After 3rd period, the bell rang for our ten minute break. I carried my little legs as fast as I could and made it to the main court. Tony was already there, drinking out of his water bottle. As I got closer, he noticed me and directed the bottle in my direction. Reluctantly, I took it and held it dumbly. He was now wearing a black collard shirt( school uniform was a collard shirt and long pants, no shorter than our knees).  He pulled out his usual blue sweater from his backpack and put it on, leaving the zipper unzipped. He reached out his hand to grab his bottle and it felt as though he purposely meant to touch my hand. I blushed and sat next to him. As we started our idle chat, I felt the stares of the girls who were in a group in front of us. I tried not to look at them.
I noticed that I have one of them in the next class.
I felt nervous going back to class.....