Dork

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-Nickolah Axiell.., he whispered romantically in my ear.
He was grinning ear to ear now understanding that I wasn't mad.
Or I was pretty upset since he promised he would never do that again.
But that would just make him even sadder.
He stroke my cheek carefully and put his finger on my lips.
-Stop teasing me already, I said and snickered.
Put my arms around his neck.
And pulked him close.
So close that I could feel his breath against my lips. It felt nice.
He closed his eyes slowly as he sealed my lips with his. And he just kept kissing me, and ofcourse I kissed back.

His lips was soft against mine.
And he was whispering words I couldn't really hear when I was focusing on the kissing.
But I knew it was sweet words cause he usually did that.
I felt how he moved his hand from my sides to my butt.
Then I pulled away and moved his hand to my side again. I put my finger onto his lips.
-Nope, not now Parker.., I whispered and he slightly pouted.
I was about to kiss him again.
But.
Someone interrupted us.
-Get a room will ya?
I looked in the direction were the voice came from.
Neo.
I let go of Parker and just smiled at Neo.
- Can you not, Nemo?
Parker said in an upset voice.
-Plus that we're already in a room. MY room!
-Why are you so upset? Did I come in on the wrong moment, Parkour? Neo said in the same tone.
They kept staring at each others and I saw how Parker clenched his fists out of anger.

Maybe a detail I missed.
Parker and Neo hate each others.
They say they are friendly but, I find it hard to believe.
- Come at me then, show Nick how good you are at breaking your promises, Neo said teasingly.
I looked at Parker, he was just bitch staring Neo all he could.
Then he turnes to look at me and his expression softened again as he hugged me.
-She loves me anyways, right Nick? He asked hopefully as he buried his face into my hair.
I could feel how he was snelling me and it felt extremly weird.
- I love you, yes. I also love Neo. But I love you more, I muttered.
I was pretty tired of this talk everytime they started a stupid argument for absuloutly nothing.
Or they had their reason, and that reason was..
You guessed it.
Me.
I guess you could call it traingle drama?

So Neo, well. He is my friend since childhood.
And it's not like we were on the same kindergarten or that our families knew each others.
Nono.
I didn't really have a family when he found me in the forest.
I was around four then.
And I had been sent around to various horrible places, and at those places it was those older men that just.. Raped and assaulted me.
And just used me as a sex toy.
I had growned up with that and was pretty used. But I didn't like it.
So one time I managed to escape when they were asleep.
I remember that I had ran through the forest.
Fast.
Faster than I thought that I could run.
Even with this thin body of mine.
Cause I hadn't eaten as I should. I never did as a child until I met Neo.
And that was mostly cause the affection all these old men had on me.
They were calling me "fat" and disgusting even if I barely weighted that much.
And I was on the edge of dying cause of the little weight on my body I had. I looked like a wandering skaleton and it wasn't a pretty sight.
But the fear of getting fat if I ate something was always there somewhere in my mind.
I couldn't eat.
I didn't want to eat.
But I was in need of food.
So I hid in the forest.
I slepth there.
And couldn't really do much.
I was really tired and I was too scared to exit the forest in case they would find me again.
So one day when I was half sleeping in the sun on a rock.
Like lizards you know. I didn't know much more ways to get warm with that one piece of clothing I had.
And when I was half asleep I heard footsteps.
And my heart started to race out of nervousity.
And fear.
Had they followed me? Was I doomed now? Would they take me back and do.. Things to me?
I hurried down from the rock and did the first that came to mind.
I hid in a bush.
I thought.
But suddenly my skin was starting to like burn.
Not literally but ut felt like it.
I had managed to sit down in a brushwood of nettles.
I couldn't help but let out a scream of pain as I jumped up and ran.
I stopped and hid behind a tree.
The steps came closer.
I felt the tears burning in my eyelids.
Plus the itchy sensation of the stinging nettles.
As I looked at my arm I saw how blisters started to appear all over.
I tried to hold my crying inside.
The steps were even closer now.
It stopped.
I held my breath.
I checked behind the tree.
A boy had sat down on a log on the ground.
He had a backpack that looked pretty stuffed with who knows what.
I sneaked closer, felt how the stinging sensetion voltes through my body everytime I moved just a little bit, I was really close now.
I inspected him.
His face.
He looked like any kid.
And he smelled good.
He had proper clothes.
Not like my one piece clothing that actually was a piece of a sack that was sewn to a dirty dress. It wasn't the prettiest piece of clothing I had owned.
But it was the only one right now.
His hair was platium blonde. And he had green cat-like esmerald eyes.
They were really pretty.
All of sudden he turned around and stared at me.
I got so schocked I stumbled backwards in a attempt to run away, but I just fell to the ground.
My whole body was aching.
When I glanced at him, he first looked horrified at me.
But then he smiled and got up.
He walked closer.
I was so scared for what he would do.
But he just helped me up.
And took my hand and walked back to the log again.
-Sit down.
He said with a determined tone.
I nodded and sat down.
He took up a plastic bar.
He opened the lid and I felt how the smell of homemade sandwhiches filled my lungs.
It had been years since I had eaten those. Or it felt like it since it only had been one year.

It was when I still lived with my parents. Mum always cooked me that for trips with the kindergarten. I will always remember how she smiled when I came home and told her how much I loved them.
I missed my mum.
And all her cooking, it was like specialized mama food that only mothers knew how to cook you know..
And that was before dad started to drink.
And come into my room at night.
Sneak into my bed.
And tell me to keep that "our little secret" as he touched me under the cover.
Stroke my body.
Put his fingers inside of me.
Squeezed everywhere on me.
It hurted.
It felt weird.
It felt bad.
And one time I woke up cause my lower part was hurting extremly much.
And when I had opened my eyes.
I felt his heavy breathing against my neck.
His usually soft and caring hand holding my arm in a steady grip so it hurted.
And I felt how this thing was inside of me.
I felt like I would break anytime.
"If you scream I'll break your fucking neck you slut" he had whispered to me. "Cause you are a slut aren't you? You like when daddy fucks you."
I remember that I didn't dare to do anything but cry quietly.
That was the first time I got raped.
I was 3 years old.
And I never looked at my dad the same way again.
To me he was a monster.
And he didn't really change my opinion on him to the brighter side when he sold me to some men I didn't know.
I don't know what happened to mum.
I hope he didn't kill her.
I miss her so much.

The boy split one sandwhich and gave one half to me
- You need to eat, he said as he inspected my body. And take a bath.
I just looked at him.
I started to nibble on the sandwhich.
Felt a taste of mayonnaise and ham.
It was really good.
I took bigger bites.
And before I knew it I had eaten it up.
And I felt how hungry I actually was.
I thought that he wouldn't judge me if I got fat cause of this.
I just got the feeling that he wouldn't.
I looked shyly at him.
- What is it? He had asked when he caught me looking at him.
-Can.. Can I have another one? I asked shyly and looked at him.
I saw how his cheeks slightly reddened.
-I didn't know you could talk, he said as he took up another sandwhich and split it.
He gave a half to me that I began to eat on.
He looked at me again.
-Who are you? He asked me and tilted his head.
I answered him like I had done to all these old men, since I only wanted my mum and dad and my old friends to know my real name.
- My name is Nickolah Axiell, I said.
Still with a shaky voice.
His lips burst into a grin.
He was really cute.
-Cool! My name is Neo Charis Luces! He said happily and reached out his hand.
I had hestitated, but took it and shaked it.
It was so warm.
And I sat there for a while holding his hand while eating.
I felt safe.