Aching for a Breaking

Chapter 4

My body was limp and cold. I scrambled to find the right key, then jammed it into its slot. Turning it quickly, it opened all too suddenly, causing me to stumble in. I close the door and lock it, pulling off my shoes and coat of the way to my room. My limbs threw themselves onto the bed. My sore bones and muscles rested, along with me. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, laying in my bed with my dress on. My hair was tossed uselessly to the side, my eyes shut quickly. Finally, I was at ease.

Then I started to dream about Harry.

I woke up all at once, collecting my thoughts and the dream I just had. My eyes peered open to see the clock.

6 AM.

I sighed and pushed myself upward off the bed, my muscles fighting against me. I was sore to the bone from all the things that had happened last night. I felt the inside of my coat pocket which had been tossed to the floor. My fingers feel a paper, I pull it out.

"Thanks for the good time. xx -Harry"

I put the paper on the night stand. What's wrong with me? How could I've gone along with such a dumb thing. I mean, I know I'm an adult and all and I can decide on what I do but why of all things would I choose to do that. I collect all the things I had thrown on the floor and put them back in their place.

I decided to change, since I was still in my uncomfortable clothes. I put on an old t-shirt and pajama pants. I close my door and cut off the lights, tiptoeing into my bed with Meredith.

But I didn't exactly sleep. I spent hours thinking about Harry. That's all my brain could focus on, every thought. It was him.

All I could think about was sneaking onto twitter, after New Years, and seeing all my mentions. There was one a second, all death threats. All mean things from directioners. People told me to die, I was ugly, told me to kill myself. Everything. I turned over and closed my eyes, letting tears overwhelm me.

I cried until my eyes ran dry and my thoughts calmed down, and I fell asleep.

~They tell you that you're lucky but you're so confused, you don't feel pretty you just feel used.~