Sadstuck! Dave x Reader: Forgetting

[[ This is based off the song, Nails for Breakfast Tacks for Snacks by Panic! At The Disco. I’ll put some lyrics in the middle of it to help too. Hope you don’t hate! First time o_o’’ ]]

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♫ I’m sure you’d want
want to give up the ghost with just
a little more poise than that ♪

Here we go again.
The same house, the same bathroom, the same bottle of pills. They weren't illegal, just something that your doctor gave to you for your mental illness. The medicine gives you horrible migraines so your worried doctor quickly prescribed some pain killers. Your doctor was never too smart so he didn't notice that these pills when mixed together, could possibly kill you. You did your research.
And you were ready...

♫ Prescribed pills to offset the shakes
to offset the pills. You know you should
take it a day at a time ♪

Once again, it didn't work but you still smiled.
He never left. He’s right here beside me. I’m not alone...

♫ Or was it God who chokes in these situations ♪

You mutter to yourself softly to calm down. Red trickled down your hands, making you squeal happily.
It will be okay. I’ll be fine. He’ s not gone. He’s not dead... 
You choke down some tears from the lying, venomous words that came out of your own mouth.
You know better.

________________________________________


♫ Every word gets you a 
step closer to hell ♪

A few months has passed...
It’s become a pleasure. An addiction. Your drug. Your last resort.
You are now the bloodthirsty predator.
You are finally alive, through they weren't. 

A month after lying to yourself, you had to distract yourself from Dave. You couldn't remember, you can’t remember him so you decided to get rid of him. Destroy everything that contained him. His smell. His looks. His thoughts. And especially, the memory of him. This led you to your dog, Jade. She was a small, black dog with the cutest bark. It was innocent but you had to do something about the pup. You first tried to give the dog away but your friends screamed at you for doing so. Next, you attempted to leave the puppy in a box but it ran after you. You had to try once more... and this time, you wouldn't lose.

You snatched the same small knife that you used on yourself and killed her. It was hard, considering you loved her, just like your own daughter but she had to go somehow. After cleaning the scene, you buried her in a formal coffin beside the tree where you and Dave met. The blood was still left on your hands which gave you both nausea and yet...something else. It was different, exciting and powerful, though this feeling fills you with anguish but it gives you such an adrenaline rush!

Alas, it became an addiction.

A week after the burial of Jade, you tried up hunting. Dave always wanted you to join him in shooting but you hated the idea of being able to kill a living thing. You never really thought you would even hurt a fly! But after.. Jade...it’s a different story but now’s the time to focus on the gun and your target. A bullet hits the target but you continue to shoot the poor creature, causing pain in your arms and shoulders. It was that same rush hits you all of the sudden and you can’t stop. You couldn't help it. You had to relieve your stress. You had to let go...

And you did... by shooting a different target, that will scream.

________________________________________
♫ Because your speech is slurred enough
that you just might swallow your tongue ♪

This has to be a record.
A record...
Three months to go insane.
No, I’m not insane.
Just crazy.

The white room you live in is empty but it feels like home. As long as there’s no red, you’re okay.
As long as you don’t remember. You can live for another day.
Just smile
And he will smile back.

♫ ...A relaxing weekend getaway where you’re a
cut above all the rest
Sick and sad patients
On first name basis
With all the top physicians ♪