Vermillion Honor

Chapter One

Have you ever heard everything around you seem louder than you expected? The rain pelting the ground, resonating off like bullets, the tormented wind screaming into your ears, thunder crashing around in a horrific manner, the blood rushed in your ears, pounding deliberately like a migraine.
Well, in this case, from his back.
The chinese man was hunched over on his front porch. His tearstained eyes didn't hide how his face distorted in agony. Blood dripped down his back and pooled under him. His eyes strained at his hands, with his palms planted down onto the porch, he desperately clung on to his now blurred vision.
He couldn't think straight, the world churned around him as he was desperate to make an answer, but fell short as he was hit with another bout of dizziness.
'Wow, he really was bleeding' He thought to himself.
He couldn't bring himself to look up, to look into the eyes of the person who stabbed him in the back. Quite literally actually.
The nation heaved silently, his back slightly arching with each breath. His hair stuck to his face and neck, his green cheongsam now stained a deep crimson.

Yao knew that something would go down between them one day, but not like this. He knew there was gonna be some type of conflict, but he still was too stunned to speak.
Even the stinging in his back didn't force a pained noise out of him. His amber orbs were trained on the porch he was hunched over, he couldn't tell if it was rain or his tears running down his cheeks.

He cracked half a smile and sucked in a breath of air as he craned his neck a bit to look over at the younger nation. Kiku stood there, his katana now sheathed, his blank eyes showed no trace of sympathy. The older nation could feel the dark aura around him, no pity, no regrets, just empty goodbyes that he'll forever be reminded of till his death.

"You know..... it's funny how things turned out be this way.." He spilled out through half a smile, his eyes felt heavy all of a sudden.
"We've been through so much... and even this, this couldn't make me hate you.... I raised you....... and even though you've stabbed me in the back.... even though you're leaving.... even though I'll always be alone....... I still don't have it inside me to hate you for this...", the words tumbled out of his mouth as he chuckled a bit and closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again.

Kiku looked at the nation blankly. Nothing, he didn't even care. Even though Kiku didn't care, he still would care about him, he'd care about all his siblings, he raised them like children, he just couldn't bring himself to hate them, even if they all left him.

"Don't stay here...." The older nation stated firmly, his expression grew solemn, he felt almost lifeless at this point.
"If you're going to go then go, don't just stare at me..... Your wish is to leave.... So just do it already", his voice was flat and apathetic as he spoke. He looked back down, water from his soaked hair leaked onto his face. His arms gave way and he fell to his side.
Reaching hesitantly to his back, he touched the wound, bringing his hand close to his face.
As he looked at his now crimson covered hand, blood leaked down on to his arm, the metallic tang filled his nose, and between his fingers, he could just barely make out Kiku's silhouette walking away.
Abandoning him, leaving him to bleed out, not even looking back once.

Yao's now bloodied hand dropped onto the porch as he stared at the last of Kiku's leaving silhouette, through hazy eyes.

-Timeskip-

Yao shuddered slightly at the memory as he met Kiku's empty looking eyes.

"Is there something wrong Yao-san?" Kiku asked, sounding concerned. Yao snapped out of his thoughts and put a fake smile on his face.

"Ah no, nothing at all, just lost in thought" He replied, hoping to sound cheerful. He opened the door wider for Kiku as he stepped up from the porch into his house.
"Are you sure, you seem a bit out of it?" Kiku answered. He may be clueless as to what went through Yao's had at that moment, but that didn't mean he never knew when something was up. He stared at Yao, awaiting an answer.

Yao hesitated before replying, "No no, I'm fine, trouble sleeping last night so I'm not with it today", he scratched the back of his neck and gave Kiku a reassuring smile as he walked into the kitchen area.

"You've given me that answer several times, are you sure something isn't up?" Kiku pressed on.
"Yes I'm quite sure of that" he snapped back, growing a bit annoyed with him. How could he just tell Kiku that he still remembers the day when he slashed open his back, and left him to bleed out on his porch? The day that he knew he would die alone. The day that distanced them for so long. How can he just tell him all of that. Kiku was no therapist, and he surely wouldn't want his past doings being brought up whenever they see each other, it wouldn't be right for him to do.

He could see Kiku was taken aback by his snappy tone and stared at him silently for a few moments.
Yao could feel the tension building up between them as they stared at each other.
Yao softened up his expression a bit and he turned to walk further into the kitchen.

"Anyways, how have you been, Kiku?" Yao asked, hoping to change the subject. He loved Kiku like a brother but he just couldn't bring himself to talk about his problems, he was 4000 years old, he could figure it out for himself, he didn't want to burden him. Kiku has his own problems, he can't just expect him to be there whenever he needs reassurance.

"I'm pretty good myself, it's been quite peaceful for me" Kiku responded, before continuing on.
"Yea lately the-", Yao couldn't keep focused on what Kiku was saying, so he just let him babble on about who knows what. It's not like he didn't want to talk to Kiku, he just couldn't focus, that flashback still haunted him. Thinking about it felt like the wound in his back reopened, he could almost feel the blood leaking down, the rain soaking the ground, the flash of lightening right after he struck his back, those soulless eyes. Oh those eyes, he could never escape from that empty look Kiku gave him that day, it sent chills up his spine. No emotion was evoked in those blank slate of eyes as he watched the blood spill out from his back like a waterfall, it was an eerie sight.

"Yao-san are you even listening to me? Helloo?!"
Yao snapped from his thoughts once again to see a frustrated Kiku glaring him.

"You know if you weren't interested in what I had to say then speak up" Kiku muttered irritably.

"Kiku, it's not that I'm not interested in what you were saying, I'm just out of it, okay?" Yao replied in an exasperated tone.

"You always say that Yao, whenever I try to see you, you're always tired, you never listen, if you have something going on then just say it!". There was an edge to Kiku's tone now and he could see the anger rising.

"It's not like that, it's none of your business so don't ask me about it!" Yao snapped, he could care less about whether Kiku was mad or not at this point, he was too aggravated.

"Not my business? You raised me almost my whole life, of course I'm going to care, if you'd actually talk to me for once" Kiku retorted.

"It's not that it's.." Yao's voice trailed off.

"It's what?" Kiku snapped, his tone taking on a more darker edge. "What.... you think I'm gonna stab you again?", he sneered.

That was it.
The question struck him and he knew he couldn't respond.
He knew it was all done for now, this was the last of it.
Yao sat in silence, unable to respond.
The tension was unbearable but Yao didn't dare to speak.

"Huh..... so that's what's been bothering you.... all this time. I'd try to be nice, do anything I could to make up for what I did... and you still see me as the bastard that stabbed you in the back.... figures.." Kiku's voice was flat.

"I really think I should leave, I shouldn't be around someone who has the eyes that still see me as an unforgivable monster..... Goodbye Yao" Kiku stated, and with that, he was gone and out the door. Not even waiting for a response.

Yao sat there for a few moments, unsure of what to do now.
The only thing that flashed within his mind, is how badly he fucked up.
He dropped his head into his hands. 'Why do I do this to myself?' He asked himself, already knowing the answer.