Smothered (bxb)

Sad Eyes

When my mother and I returned home she forced me to drink some warm chamomile tea and eat some Chinese leftovers from her dinner. I felt completely drained yet I didn't have it in me to fall asleep, so after I had an ice cold shower to clear the fogginess from my brain, I got into an old grey hoodie and some Kermit the frog boxers and sat on the sofa in my living room. I stared at the wall for what seemed like days until my mother came in from her room with a sad smile and made me some coffee. I had fallen in and out of a dazed, sleep-like state where I wasn't sure if I was in a dream or reality. The light from the windows started to register in my mind and I realized that it was already morning.

"Here." My mother said as she put a warm plate of eggs and toast into my lap and sat down next to me. "Do you want to go to his place to grab some of his stuff for him before we head to the hospital?" I shook my head, I didn't even know where he lived. He wouldn't dare to bring me over to the foster home, he was scared senseless of it there.

"Okay? Then why don't you let Gus borrow some of your clothes? Humm?" She asked in a motherly voice.

"Good idea." I grunted emotionlessly. I gulped down the last bite of my breakfast and went into my library-like room.

I looked along the many shelves that lined the walls of my room for something that Gus might like to have while he was in the hospital. As I skimmed the walls, I caught a glimpse of an old journal that I hadn't used and picked it up. I had a deep red, cloth cover and spine and thick, lined pages. This would do just fine. I grabbed a handful of pencils and an eraser off of my desk and shoved it into my black backpack. Then I went into my closet and grabbed the most Gus-looking clothing I had... which turned out to be and old worn pair of black skinny jeans (which would be much too big on his slim frame), and two old sweatshirts (one a dusty mustard color with a Bob Dylan logo on the front of it and the other was navy blue with rips along the seams) I also grabbed him a few pairs of boxers and two t-shirts (one plain black, and one white with a Red Hot Chili Peppers logo on the front). After raiding my closet I went into the bathroom and grabbed an extra toothbrush and toothpaste and then went into my mum's bathroom to grab a hand full of hair ties which I thought he'd appreciate. After I had everything ready and I put a pair of skinnies on, I quickly grabbed one of my romance novels randomly off a shelf and stuffed it into my bag thinking that I might want it if I had to wait at all. I walked into the hall and my mum was waiting at the front door with her keys, ready to go to see Gus.

In the elevator my heart roared as it beat crazily against my chest in anticipation of seeing him. I nervously tapped my toes on the ground and started pacing. My mother gently grabbed my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

"Calm down Rain. You're not going to help anyone by getting like this." Her gaze was loving, but her voice stern, penetrating the filter of thoughts I had put up and making me realize that she was actually right. I took a deep breath as the elevator door swung open and we stepped out into the pale green halls. I walked quickly down the ghastly hospital as I searched for room number 159. I found it at the furthest end and the door was closed. I looked around at the bustling hallway, knocking on the door softly realizing afterwards that I could hear loud voices booming form the other side. I quietly and slowly opened the door up just so I could see into the room and what I saw surprised me. Gus was sitting up in his hospital bed, resting on a mountain of pillows with tubes coming our of his nose and an IV in his wrist. He was wearing a hospital gown and had deep creases embedded in his forehead. Around him were many people, three boys all seemingly younger than him by a few years, a dark-skinned doctor with a frustrated expression played out on her face, and a short, very plump man with a large beer gut and a sweat-stained white tank top. The man was standing at the foot of the bed with his hands raised in fists, growling loudly in a booming voice and seeming to be utterly furious.

"You fucking expect me to pay for this little shit's meds?! You must be outta your goddamn fucking mind!?" yelled the man as his ugly face slowly turned red. The doctor, looking completely fed up said, "Well, you are his legal guardian, so it is the law that you must pay this minor's mandatory prescribed medication. It is critical that he takes it every day or the next time this happens he might not be this lucky." She said to the man in an equally furious tone. The man grumbled as the doctor gave him a form to sign and he begrudgingly accepted. After that they turned around and headed towards me and I had to quickly walk away from the door before they noticed me eavesdropping. My mum, just behind me took my shoulder and guided me a few feet away. I looked at her and she nodded. She had seen the whole thing too. Now she knew a little about the horrible home that Gus had to stay in and I could see the pity in her eyes towards the sweet, shy boy.

Once the man and the group of boys had left, my mother let me go see Gus on my own. I went up to the door again and knocked slowly letting him know someone was there, then I opened the door fully and stepped into the poorly lit hospital room. From before, I didn't notice that there was another boy in the room in the bed next to Gus's. He was seemingly asleep and the curtain around his bed wasn't fully closed. I walked in closer to Gus and that was when he opened his eyes that had been tightly closed shut and I saw a look of shock cross his eyes then relief set in on his face and he seemed to relax a bit.

"Hey." I said in a whisper as I took a seat on the end of his bed. He gave me a small smile and it made my heart ache a little inside, this boy was so strong. Even through everything that he had been through, not just now, but in his whole life, he still managed to smile. I smiled back at him, but it was halfheartedly.

"Hey." He wheezed out through his tight throat. He sounded like he was a 90 year old man.

"Rough night?" I said trying to crack a joke. He let out what I guessed was a laugh but it sounded more like a hiss.

"Yeah, how can yah tell?" He wheezed, the smile evidently fading. I looked into his sad eyes as he took a long breath through the long oxygen tubes that were attached to his nose. He stretched out one of his hands towards me and I took it in mine. Somehow his hand seemed so much more frail now then it did before, I took a mental note to hold hit more gently.

"They said you stayed here almost all night." Gus croaked. Looking down at our hands.

"And they said that you were asking for me." I said with a little smirk sneaking its way back onto my tan face. He gave what sounded like a snort at that and smiled at me.

"Yeah, I did ask for you." He whispered in a hoarse voice, "But they kept telling me that you'd be here waiting for me in the morning, and to rest."

"Probably was a good idea, don't you think?" I added.

"Yah, but it had seemed like the worst fucking idea on the whole entire planet last night!" He said, emotion clear in his voice.

"Hey," I said worried, looking into his beautiful hazel eyes, "It's okay now, I'm here, okay? So you don't have to worry now." And I let go of his hand and wrapped my strong arms around his fragile body in a warm, and much needed embrace.

"Thank you." I heard him cry into the crook of my neck. "I'm so sorry, Rain." I heard his hoarse voice whisper next to my ear, "I'm sorry I ruined our date." I pulled away to see his pained expression and shook my head.

"You didn't ruin it Gus-"

"-Yeah, I did." He cut in, visibly upset, "I wish things didn't have to happen to me like this. I wish we could have finished our meals and talked all night. We would have gone for a walk down the beach and I would compliment you on how handsome you looked, and you'd blush like you do every time I say something nice to you. And then I'd hold your hand and kiss your cheek in front of everyone on the beach, wanting people to know how much I wanted to be there with you." His voice crackled as he spoke, and his words made my heart melt. I so badly wished that this alternate version of last night had happened instead. I wished Gus wasn't sick.

I leaned in closer to him and whispered in his ear, "Then we'll just have to do that once you get out." I looked back at him and he had a small smile on his face, a slight blush forming on his pale cheeks. "But for now we just have to make the most of everything, okay?" He nodded and I laid next to him in the hospital bed. We snuggled close together, with one of my arms under his neck and one of his arms tightly wrapped around the curve of my hips as we both laid on our sides looking at each other and pressing our bodies close, soaking in the warmth. We stayed like this for a long time until time stood still and the world around me ceased to exist.