Melted

Backstory

Cold hearted badass.
That's what they all call me.
Scoff.
They all think I've been like this since birth.
No one knows every single shitty thing that's ever happened to me contributed to this.
All of my grandparents died of before I turned ten.
Parents couldn't support me, unnie, and dongsaeng, sent us to Auntie and Uncle's house to live. At least they still contact us and promise us that they will come back soon.

The problem is, I don't believe in promises anymore, sorry.

Auntie and Uncle are on business trips 50 weeks out of a year. I know they love us.

But do they really?

The only people I have by my side constantly are a caring older sister, Liyin. But she's going to college soon.   And an younger brother, Jongdae, who's the only guy who can make me genuinely laugh. 

Bye bye sister.
Hello more loneliness to yours truly.

Few people have tried to become friends with me, because they're scared. Also might be because I don't let people in that easily.

Grandpa promised he would be at the first art exhibit I ever held when I became a famous artist. He ended up sleeping away his life accidentally. Peaceful, but I quit art the week after.
Mom and dad said we would only live at Auntie and Uncle's house for six months. It's been six years. They've been saying they'd be back soon for five. How soon is soon?
My first best friend Shia promised she'd be by my side forever. She broke my leg two months later. She was the person bullying a girl that I saved. The girl I saved, Zhenzhu, became my best friend and Shia was out of the blue just like that.
The guy that lived next door who said he would find me in a few years after he moved because we were meant to be friends. His name was Steven. He forgot who I was when we saw each other a year later.
Even my precious older sister who promised she would protect me through everything. She's going to college in a year.

This is why I don't trust people.
I'm always met with lies and disappointment.
I know humans were meant to only think about themselves, but that didn't prevent me from breaking down into tears every time one of these things happened.

I was friends with everyone.

Everyone says they think I'm cool and they want to be like me. But deep down, who would want to be me? Cool and collected on the outside, a beaten down mess on the inside.

"I admire you!"
"You're so cool!"
"Can I be you?"

No, I'm afraid you don't actually.
You think that, but you don't know the truth.
You can't be me.
No one wants to be like me.
Even I don't want to be like me.

No one wants to be a hot mess who can't trust anyone because of how much shit I've been through.

Be thankful you aren't me.