Short Scary Stories

Do Not Buy An RT!

Hey, all. You don't know me, but I've been in this group for about four years now, even if I never really said anything. I'm just not really the social network type of person - I'm one of those old-fashioned guys who prefer face to face contact to blog posts and messaging, so I never saw much appeal in engaging in an online discussion, even if I rather enjoyed reading your posts. Well, the time has come for me to make my first, and most likely only, post here. In all honesty, I'm expecting a swift and permanent ban from NetWeb after this, but I don't really care. There's something I need to tell everyone, and it's going to sound crazy and nonsensical, but I assure you every word is true.

My message is simple - do NOT buy an RT!!! I can not stress this enough. Do not purchase an RT, a used one or especially a brand new one. Let the fad die off. Please. I know what you're thinking - "But Trevor, RTs have the potential to change the world! If we use them right and monitor them properly we're looking at an age of prosperity!" And yes, I do agree that the fantasy that IGT has been trying to pitch us for the last three years sounds pretty great, but in reality it's disgusting, inhumane, and not to mention highly illegal. I have no concrete proof for any of my beliefs, so I'm not going to outline them in plain text. All I'm going to do is tell you the story leading up to the creation of this post and let you reach your own conclusions.

It's important to note that I lost one of my legs to a soft tissue sarcoma last year. By the time we caught it, it had already spread to the rest of my body, but with proper treatment the doctors are expecting me to live for at least another 25 years, which, while not ideal, is way more than cancer patients with my condition lived for only half a century ago. Still, the treatments leave me in a lot of pain, and the aforementioned lack of one leg makes it pretty difficult to move about, even with my prosthesis. And since I'm both disabled AND terminally ill, I more than qualified for IGT's charity which provided free RTs to people who really need them. When I received a message from one of their PR people asking me if I would like to get a free model to help out around the house, I was ecstatic! Sure, I knew that this was all in their best interest, not mine - their donations are tax-deductible, and they're also getting free marketing through exposure to boot. Regardless, as someone who's never had a proper girlfriend and got disowned by his parents years ago, I knew I could really use the help. And besides, who wouldn't want the hottest, latest piece of technology for absolutely free? I was certainly not going to say no to that, even if I had to play the cancer card to get it.

For the next several weeks I was in negotiation with the PR guy (whose name I won't disclose, because I sincerely doubt he knows anything about what's going on), sending documents back and forth, familiarizing myself with the terms and conditions of their deal and that sort of thing. Yes, IGT really do run a charity with terms and conditions attached to their donations, because IGT. But anyway, I was told that I'd receive a 2060 "GRETA" model - not the latest, even at the time (the story happened in early '62), yet still pretty damn great, costing north of half a million. The package was delivered to me on a Monday, straight to my door, and after that I set about assembling the RT unit myself. The process was, admittedly, a lot easier than I expected - the body and head were already in place, so all I had to do was attach the limbs, which required just a little bit of unscrewing and soldering, and then activate the unit. Honestly, while RTs look super realistic in ads and on store shelves, in real life they fall a bit in the uncanny valley, especially upon closer inspection. You know that horrible artificial skin they use on the expensive prosthetics, the kind that really looks like skin, but feels like cheap plastic? My RT was covered in that, head to toe.

The assembly took about 25 minutes in total, which I know some people in this group will consider to be way too slow, but keep in mind that I'm not really the type of person who's ever had to work with this kind of stuff. When I was a child I wasn't allowed anywhere near the tools, which were the exclusive domain of my father and older brother, and during high school and beyond I only ever did some basic soldering, like the type they teach in shop class, so go easy on me. Anyway, soon enough my RT was ready to go. The GRETA model's system software came pre-installed (no messy work required there), but the unit hadn't been activated yet - I had to do that myself so that it could imprint. For the five of you unfamiliar with the process, imprinting is pretty much the most important part of the setup. The first person the RT sees upon its activation becomes its... well, for lack of a better word, its Master. That person will always receive top priority when it comes to issuing orders or being cared for, and the RT will never wander off when its Master is less than 500 meters away.