#slut

59. Other Girls

So at this point, I'm drifting from all the guys. I really only talk to them once a week at most. Conversations were dry, and we were trying to "unlove" each other. We didn't want to be rude and completely erase ourselves from each others lives, because at the end of all this we still wanted to be friends. But there was way too much emotion involved to get to that stage.

So I get a text from Cam to come to this so called "Youtuber Party". Which if you guys haven't heard of, a lot of Youtubers, viners, instagramers, those sorts of social media famous (teens) people all hang out at a party. And it is some fucked up shit. I saw like 15 year old doing some hardcore drugs...like do your parents know you are doing this?
But I'll leave that for a rant for another day.

So its a party, and I'm not exactly famous. I model at times, mostly just make my Instagram look pretty. But I'm really not anyone relavant. I really wasn't sure what type of party it was going to be.

Do I dress casual? Do I dress hot? I don't want to look like I'm trying to hard. But I am seeing my guys. Do I bring anyone? Should I?

So the night of the party comes. Its different this time around cause I'm not getting ready with Matt or Cam, or heading over there with them. I'm just showing up there.

I decide to bring a close guy friend of mine, who also happens to model and is Instagram famous. (Ugh I hate saying that). But yea, we head over to this party, have drink and start talking to all the others there.

That's when I see Cam. I act as if I didn't see him. But I know he saw me. I turn back and see he is coming my way. My heart skipped a beat, and not in the good kind of way. He was with another girl. His arm around her waist. Holding her close. She was laughing and something he said. And he was smiling back at her. It looked genuine, innocent, simple. It hurt.

Why did my complications always fuck things up for me?

Cam: Heyy! So glad you can make it.
*He gives me a side hug*

Me: Its been so long. Hi, I'm Sam.
*I smile and hug them both. And introduce them to my friend.*
Luca, Cam. Cam, Luca.

And that's when Matt shows up, with a girl in his arms. But he was quick to let go of her hand and give me a hug.

Don't get me wrong, it still hurt seeing both of them with other girls. But its nice thinking that they'd give up any girl for me. Wow, that's shallow and selfish for me to say. But that's just me.

I'm so glad I brought Luca. Can you imagine how awkward it would be if I came alone, and they both had girls. Why did Cam even invite me to this?

So the night goes on, Luca and I are having a great time, we are dancing, laughing, doing out own thing.

We decide to go sit down on the couches. Its crazy how the loud beat of the music is a high in itself. I honestly don't need drugs to have a great time. I think that's one thing I love about Luca, we feel the music at a deeper level. Like we will connect with the beat of it. Honestly, the two of us don't even need music to feel the beat and jam out.

So our little couch break, doesn't really end up a break from dancing. It got a bit hot. His hands are on my waist, and he get me on his lap. We are grinding and kissing. I'm pretty much giving him a lap dance. We are just in our own zone.

And thats when I hear Cam call my name, he pulls me aside to talk.