Joshifer; Better Together

Chapter Fourteen; So Sorry

I wake up in a haze. My vision is blurred and I can't seem to look straight. Something doesn't feel right, and I'm overcome with the same pain I felt last night but worse than I could've ever imagined. Something is not right.

I try to shake Josh awake, gritting my teeth and letting out a short sob. He wakes almost immediately, sitting up and wrapping his arms around me. I sob silently into his chest. "What's wrong?" He asks worriedly, brushing the tangled hair from my face. "What's wrong, Jen?"

"Something isn't right, Josh." I whisper, pulling away. "We need to get to a hospital."

"Okay, okay." He says, rolling over to the other side of the bed and turning the lamp on. He turns to me, looking down at our white bed spread and letting out a short gasp. "Jen, y– you're bleeding."

I look down to see my underwear and the sheets soaked in blood. Just looking at it makes me dizzier. Before I can react, I feel another sharp pain in my stomach and fall backwards, not able to move.

Josh jumps up from the bed frantically, grabbing a blanket from the closet and scooping me up, taking me out of the bedroom and to the front door of the apartment. "I'm going to get you to the hospital right away, Jen. Don't worry, I'm going to take care of you." He says, his voice completely strained. I groan as I feel the blood dripping down my legs, the pain in my stomach growing so strong, it feels as if there is something stabbing my insides.

Josh runs down the stairs, careful not to bounce me around, and gets to the front door of the apartment building. He carefully opens the door, carrying me to his car that is parked in front. He opens the back car door, placing me down slowly and steadily. I let out a small moan as the pain continues to cut through my insides.

"I'm calling your parents right now, Jen. Don't worry. I love you so much." Josh says, hopping into the front seat and speeding onto the highway. It's 4:00 in the morning, so there isn't much traffic. The hospital is only a few miles away, but it feels like hours. I scream at the top of my lungs, letting the tears flow. I'm not sure that I'm going to survive this.

Josh's POV

Everything happened so fast, I'm not even able to process it. One minute she was complaining of mild stomach cramps, and now, she's bleeding out. I can't help but feel responsible for not forcing her to go to the hospital. How could I have been so stupid.

"Pick up, pick up!" I whisper to myself as the phone rings. After I almost lose hope, I finally hear Jen's mom on the other line.

"Josh?" She croaks, obviously just waking up. "Why in the world are you calling at four in the morning?"

"Hi, Karen." I say, my voice shaken. "I think you need to fly out to New York as soon as possible. It– It's Jen."

"What?" She asks shocked. I can hear her trying to wake Gary. "What's wrong with Jennifer? Why are you with her?"

"Jen and I have been together for about a month now. We've been keeping it private, because we were going to tell you the next time we come to visit. Last night, Jen had mild cramps in her stomach, and they worsened over night. We're on our way to the hospital. She– she's bleeding badly."

"Oh my god!" She says. "Where is she bleeding from?" Before I can answer, she begins to speak again. "Oh my god, we're going to catch the first flight out. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, she hangs up. I pull into the hospital parking lot, looking back towards Jen who is still wrapped in the blanket, clenching her stomach. She lets out a sharp cry, and I jump out of the car, running into the waiting room.

"I need help!" I scream hysterically. I catch the attention of one of the men that drive the ambulance, and they come to my side with a gurney. "Thank you,", I say, running towards the car. I open the door, engulfing Jen in my arms and placing her down. She screams at the top of her lungs as they roll her into the hospital, and I stick by her side.

"She's losing a ton of blood!" I hear the man yell to a nurse. The nurse takes over, wheeling her down the hallway into a small operating room. A doctor comes to her side right away, examining her.

"Miscarriage." The doctor says, looking at me. "We have to operate right away to stop the flow of blood. I'm sorry."

Jen looks at me terrified through gritted teeth, and I look back at her, my heart dropping. Before I can react, the doctor pushes me out of the room, and he shuts the door tightly behind me. I fall to the ground, letting myself cry. I dig my face into my knees, shaking my head. How could Jen have a miscarriage? She never told me that she was pregnant. Did she know?

The next hour that passes is excruciating. A nurse comes to me, asking several questions about Jen. She tells me how sorry she was that I lost a baby, and explains that the miscarriage was completely natural and could've happened to anyone. I don't completely focus on her, but I focus on the fact that the love of my life was pregnant with my child, and we lost it.

I am forced into the waiting room to check Jen into the hospital. I was told that she'd have to stay overnight, and possibly into the next day. I decide to call her parents, to assure them that she'd be okay.

"Hello?" I hear Karen say. "How is Jen? Did you get her to the hospital in time?"

"Yes," I whisper, a deflated tone in my voice. "She just got out of surgery."

"What happened?" She asks. "We're getting on a plane in about an hour.

"Jen... She lost a baby. We lost a baby."

"What?" Karen asks, her voice seeming broken. "Jen had a miscarriage?"

"Yes." I whisper. "I'm sorry, I–"

"No, Josh. Don't apologize." She says. "You shouldn't be apologizing, I should. I am so sorry, Hun. How are you? Have you spoken to Jen?"

"I'm not well." I whisper, a single tear running down my cheek. "I'm going to stay strong for Jen, but it's really just hitting me that I lost a child, one that I didn't even know about."

"I hate to hang up now, but our flight is boarding. I'll see you tomorrow."

I sigh, hanging up the phone. A woman comes to me, and tells me that Jen is settled in her room, and I follow her to it.

I open the door slowly, walking towards the bed that Jen is in. She is wrapped up in several blankets with a clean hospital gown on. I sit down next to her, brushing the hair out of her face. I kiss away her tears, holding her close.

"Are you still in pain?" I ask, kissing her temple. She shakes her head.

"Discomfort." She says, shaken. She pulls me closer. "I was going to have a baby, Josh. We could've been parents." She shuts her eyes to stop the steady flow of tears.

"I'm sorry, Jen." I whisper. "I'm so sorry."