Joshler Oneshots-Self titled

Addict With A Pen

Tyler had been admitted into the Northwest Ohio Mental Institution just over 2 years ago. He had started hearing the voices when he was 13 but I was the only person he told. I thought he had been kidding, just pranking me. Tyler trusted me so I didn't tell anyone, but now I know that I should have. I kept his secret for over 3 years before he accidently let it slip in front of his parents. He was admitted into the hospital for schizophrenia. He's 18 now and I'm 19.

I haven't seen Tyler in over a year. It got so bad that only his family was allowed to visit him and that seemed really unfair to me, considering we were almost brothers. Nobody told him that though because they didn't want him to know that it had gotten that bad again. He thought that I was ignoring him.

After being separated for a year I was really excited...but also nervous to see him. Has he changed? Oh my god, what if he looks completely different? What if he doesn't recognize me? I panicked, thinking of every possible situation and everything that could go wrong. I missed his short brown hair and his dark brown eyes so, so much. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone this much, even though it had only been a year.

As I drove over, I kept thinking What if he's mad that I never visited him? And I was terrified that he would ignore me or that he'd have changed so much that we wouldn't be friends anymore. When I finally pulled into the parking lot, I was practically shaking with fear. I made my way into the office, putting one foot in front of the other.

"Tyler Joseph," I said, my voice quivering.

"Down that hall and to the right, room 21," she smiled and pointed me in the right direction.

I nodded a quick thanks to her and made my way towards the door. Once I got to the door, I took a deep breath. Was he ready for this? Was I ready for this? I pushed open the door, absorbing the image behind it.

Tyler was sitting in a chair in the corner, writing in a black-covered notebook. The off-white walls gave me chills. How did Ty live in this room for 2 years? Light blue curtains covered the windows, letting a sheet of light in. Tyler turned to me as he heard the door close shut behind me.

"Hello," he smiled. "We haven't talked in quite some time," he said, laughing.

"Hi Ty-guy, how you doing?" I asked nervously.

"I'm better, how 'bout you?"

"Fine. I really missed you, you know..." I trailed off, not sure what to say.

"I'm sorry.... I know I haven't been the best at trying to comunicate with you, I haven't exactly had access to my phone," he said, shaking his head. "I'm so glad to see you, I wanted to talk to you."

Oh no, this isn't like Tyler, he normally just spits things out.

"The doctors say I'm getting better, but I don't trust them anymore. I feel like I've lost what shred of sanity I had left, just sitting in here all day. My mind is open to all these thoughts and it feels like I'm running through the endless desert of my mind and there's no escape. I try my best to hold onto what I have left of my mind but no matter how hard I try... " He paused, showing me the inside of the notebook. It was completely full of one word: Blurryface. "Blurry isn't gone. He's far from it."

"Blurryface?! And you're just telling me this now! This is important Tyler, he's been tormenting you for years and he's not even real! If the doctors let you out because you hid Blurry from them..." I tried to think of something to say, but the words wouldn't come out.

"I can't tell the doctors, they wouldn't let me see you if I did! I just write it in my notebook... I-I'm an addict with a pen of sorts. He's the only one I have left. My family got busy and they haven't visited me in so long..." Tyler took a breath. "If people were water, then I haven't found a drop. I haven't even found a drop of you, Josh! Where have you been? I thought you abandoned me!" He stared at me, demanding an answer.

"Th-the doctors told me to stay away. They said it was getting bad and you couldn't have visitors so I didn't come. They said it was better for you and I stayed away because I thought I was helping you,"

"You should have fought for me, I would have fought for you." He said, his face turning to stone. I had seen Tyler mad before, but never at me. Tears slipped down my throat, making my throat raw.

"Oh Ty, I did fight. I got made fun of at school so, so much for having the "mental" friend and I couldn't take it anymore, so I started fighting back. The teachers let me stop doing homework, my family stopped expecting me at dinner, I hardly even left my room senior year. I was alone too..." I fought for breath, choking on my tears.

Now it was his turn to cry.

"Josh, if I had known what this would have done to you I never would have checked in...Just because you miss me doesn't mean you have to go mental to be in the same hospital as me though," he smiled faintly, wiping his eyes.

"Ty-guy, is Blurryface really back?" I asked slowly.

Tyler took a deep breath. "He never left. Most days he just appears to torment me for a few minutes and leaves, other days he goes on for hours and hours. Sometimes it feels like I'm more imaginary than him. I can't do anything against him, he always finds a way to get me to do what he wants. I'm- well, I'm just mindless, spindless, and pretend." And with that, he pulled up his sleeve.

I gasped. There were raised red lines all across his wrists. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself! You need to tell a doctor what's been happening."

"I-I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Blurryface threatened to hurt you if I didn't do it! I didn't have a choice! He's the wind and I'm a scrap of paper, just being blown back and forth without consent." I looked at him, my eyes wide. He was doing this... to protect me? "The doctors have given up on me. To them I'm just a crazy, suicidal head case."

"But to me... you're everything! You need to stop hurting yourself just because Blurryface says so." I straightened my shoulders and sat up straight to show that I was serious.

"I-I'm what?"

"Everything. You mean the world to me and..." I paused, meeting his eye.

I took a deep breath, it was time.

"Ty?"

"Uh huh?"

"I... I think I'm in love with you." Tyler looked at me, shocked. Had I really just said that? Out loud? To Tyler?

Tyler jumped out of his chair and ran towards me. He tackled me into a bear hug so tight I didn't think I could survive another 10 seconds of it. But if it meant I died in Tyler's arms, I would gladly do it again.

He lifted his beautiful face off of my shoulder, cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me.

I pulled away at first, scared. But then I relaxed and leaned in.

Once we had broken apart he laid his head back on my shoulder. "I love you too," He smiled his adorable smile and went back to hugging me.

We stayed like that for a long time before we heard a knock at the door.

"Visiting hours are over," the voice called.

"Will you be here tomorrow so I can come see you?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Of course I'll be here Jish, don't you worry." He laughed, opening the door.

"See you tomorrow!" I called, waving at Tyler.

"Bye babe," he replied, drawing attention from all of the nurses. I turned back and winked before walking out the front doors.

I smiled to myself, That wasn't so bad after all.