First Steps #WATTYS2016

Senses

I couldn't tell you what it feels like,
Only how it looks.
It looks like someone disappearing into fog on a busy road,
Not knowing if they'll be hit by a car or whether that's what they want.
It looks almost like seeing skin become transparent, the bleeding heart visible.

I can tell you that it sounds like a lighthouse,
Searching for someone but not making any noise to draw attention.
It looks like the person in school who carries a shell and winds their way through halls
And if the halls got smaller and smaller,
They wouldn't protest -
Two different kinds of trapped, that's what it looks like.

If my eyes weren't my eyes,
I could tell you that it looks like a reflection distorting more every time you look.
Should my ears swap,
I could tell you that it sounds like hearing a heartbeat that isn't wished for,
But I am me,
So I couldn't tell you these things.

I'd struggle to describe what it tastes like without having a tongue transplant,
But I'd take a guess at bitter.
Maybe losing my tongue isn't such a bad idea,
It can't say the right things and sometimes says all the wrong ones.
Keep my hands connected so that I can write,
But disconnect my brain, so what I write isn't filtered by what others may think.
Fuel my pen with blood and allow it to write what I can't quite put into words,
Because some ideas can only be seen
And I closed my eyes a long time ago,
Afraid to open them,
So I can't tell you what it looks like,
Only how it feels
And it feels like filling a swimming pool with memories and diving to the bottom,
Like amputating emotions in an effort to heighten my senses.

I wish I could describe how it feels,
But I'm limited only to how it smells.
It smells like saltwater,
But since I can't put into words how it smells, maybe taste I can do.
It tastes of saltwater and a sour aftertaste,
Missing the sweetness of you.

I couldn't tell you anything as it seems,
So I will write in metaphors and hope that you know what I mean.