Broken (Jelsa) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 4

Previously:

I wonder how my life would have turned out if I would still be part of the big four and I wasn't anorexic and the worst of all I didn't cut. My life would suck if I didn't cut because is life. I usually don't use the word anorexic I use starving but I think it's good to be anorexic I mean why eating? If I eat I have to buy food for myself every week that costs really much instead I can just buy banana every week that doesn't cost much it's better to do that.

Present:

Elsa P.O.V

I walked out of the park after watching the big four for a moment, I don't know if Jack saw me and I don't really care. He is happy with his gang that I use to be part of but they threw me out and replaced me without saying anything to me well they said it but in a ignoring way.

I began to think so much about this, I began to cry and run home. No one was home so I can cry peacefully without anyone to disturbing me and I really like it. But I wonder how it is to cry in someone's shoulder, I have see people do it but never tried it on my own and probably never will.

I walked into the bathroom to clean away all my tears but when I looked into the mirror I saw the ugliest person who has ever lived and that is me. I'm so ugly and fat and worthless, I deserve to die. Everyone will be happy if my life would just end here and now. And that is what I am going to do. I have decided that I am going to kill myself and I don't expect someone to find my body anytime soon.

I began to sing about this:

Take a look at my body,
Look at my hands.
There is so much here,
That I don't understand.

Your face say,
These promises.
Whispered like prayers,
I don't need them.

Because I've been treated so wrong,
I've been treated so long.
As if I'm becoming untouchable,
Well content loves the silence.

It thrives in the dark,
With fine winding tendrils.
That strangle the heart,
They say that promises sweeten the blow.

But I don't need them,
No I don't need them.
I've been treated so wrong,
I've been treated so long.

As if I'm becoming untouchable,
I'm a slow dying flower.
Frost killing hour,
The sweet turning sour.

And untouchable,
Oh I need the darkness, the sweetness,
The sadness, the weakness,
I need this.

I need a lullaby,
A kiss goodbye.
Angel sweet love of my life,
Oh I need this.

I'm slow dying flower,
Frost killing hour.
The sweet turning sour,
And untouchable.

Do you remember,
The way.
That you touched,
Me before.

All the trembling,
Sweetness.
I loved,
And adored?

Your face saving promises,
Whispered like prayers.
I don't need them,
I need the darkness, the sweetness.