blank canvas ;; phan

.:five:.

Phil had been in this situation plenty of times before. The first time Maggie was sent to the hospital for under-eating, she'd fainted during gym class in primary school. Maggie had always been skinny, so no one seemed to notice the change when she stopped eating. Phil didn't know about it until she was already home from school, so he didn't have much to worry about as an eleven-year-old.

The second time, it was worse. Maggie had become a skeleton of a person; her skin was leathery and pale, her eyes were sullen with numbness, her lips chapped and swollen. It was like seeing a living corpse. She had become so skinny Phil could wrap both his forefingers and thumbs around her thigh and still have room to hold more. But because their father didn't believe that Maggie had anorexia nervosa, he shut Phil out when he begged him to let her go see a professional.

She collapsed in the shower, the hot steam being too much of a strain for her brittle limbs. She would have been dead if Phil hadn't found her, helpless and clinging to life. He didn't even bother telling his father about it until he received the medical bills, sick of his negligence towards his children.

The last time was one of the scariest nights of Phil's life. His father had just got laid off from his job as an accountant, and he brought home a trunk full of alcohol. Maggie had become skeleton-like again. After finishing two bottles of some rancid-smelling liquor, Maggie tried to hide the rest of it from her father.

That was the first time he hit her.

The first blow to her jaw caused a blood-curdling shriek to escape her lips. Phil rushed in, and watched in horror as his father beat his baby sister until the screaming became nothing but the cries of a ghost. Him and Maggie didn't have the courage to tell anyone besides Bianca about that night, but from that day, Phil promised himself he wouldn't let anything like that happen to Maggie ever again.

Bianca and Phil tried their best to help Maggie with her condition. But because they were broke college students without any help from a supportive adult, there wasn't much they could do. Bianca always made sure she ate whenever she came over, but the two of them couldn't babysit her twenty-four/seven.

This is all my fault, Phil's mind repeated. He'd always been there for Maggie, except for now. Spending time with Dan meant spending time away from his sister.

"Phil, you need to breathe," Dan whispered from beside him. He was hesitant, but cautiously rested his hand on Phil's shoulder.

He didn't even realize he'd been holding his breath.

"I'm just so worried," he said, his voice quivering. It took all of his strength not to start sobbing.

"She's gonna be fine," he said, pulling Phil's head into his chest. He stroked Phil's tousled hair and wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "Bianca's with her. She'd tell us if anything else happened."

Phil gave a weak nod, pulling himself closer to Dan. The image of her, lying alone in a morgue, her dead body resembling that of the living one, stayed permanent in his mind all throughout the ride to the hospital.

—

"You fucking selfish piece of shit Phillip Michael Lester," Phil heard as he was guided through the pristine halls of the hospital. Bianca's rage was prominent in her tone, but he rushed at her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders anyway.

"How is she?" he asked, a tear escaping from his eye.

She didn't look up at Phil. "She hasn't woken up yet. A doctor came in about twenty minutes ago and said she was stable, but I'm still freaking out."

"This isn't your fault, B."

"It isn't yours either, jackass."

Dan appeared from the steel doors, his white tee-shirt soaked from Phil's tears.