thursday
12:22 am
i gave you a pack of potato chips and water for your midnight snack.
my parents are already sleeping,
so i could now sneak into you.
"thank you, sungja,"
you thanked me.
"why are you still awake?"
"i need answers, taehyung,"
i kept asking you.
"okay, fine," you shrugged.
"but after this, please keep it as a secret."
"yeah, i promise you,"
i smiled warmly.
"eomma had a car accident a year ago,
which turned appa's life into a fiasco.
appa blamed my eomma's death to me
because before she died,
we were supposed to meet up at the mall
to buy a gift for appa's birthday.
unfortunately, a truck hit her,"
you sighed and looked up,
preventing from not crying.
"taehyung, i'm sorry to hear this,"
i frowned and mourned with him.
"it's all right.
besides,you needed answers right?"
you looked at me.
i looked down,
so ashamed to what i did.
but i really needed answers.
"appa wanted me dead already,
since his love of his life is already gone,
which is eomma to be exact.
he told me ― he doesn't love me anymore
b
ecause we're already incomplete,"
you laughed nervously.
"so he kept doing violent things to me.
"sometimes, i already want myself
to be dead already
since he always tells me to just kill myself.
so like, what's the point of living?
i'm being hurt physically and mentally
but all i wanted was peace,"
you continued.
"but i'm glad i climbed to your window,
and that's when i met you.
you partly saved me," you smiled.
"after seeing you, i wondered,
should i die? it's because you
show too much care and you even
bother to talk to a lonely person like me.
"but then again, you can't talk or
meet up with me in public.
i don't want you to get involved with
my problems because once appa sees you
trying to bother to talk to me,
he might give you a death threat as well.
he doesn't like people bother talking to me."
my heart clenched, my hands shaking,
i never thought of it to be like this.
i had already imagined
being with taehyung in public
such as strolling around to malls,
parks, and beaches.
"let me be the one who'll bother you.
because once i talk to you in public,
that means we're safe, all right?"
you told me, i just nodded.
