You're first lesson, well more of mine, is on loss. Not the loss of a favorite shirt or your car being totaled, no. I'm mean loss, as in death. My first lesson to who I've become and the path to the downward spiral I was going to go in, it all started with loss. The loss of my father, 1 of 3 people (not including my mother) who raised me. Why my father did what he did I'm going to leave out until another lesson, so don't ask. His death however I will share: it was suicide. I was 8 years old when my father passed, and I never got to handle it well, manly because my mother tried to shield me from his death and hide it from me (so basically I have daddy issues, that'll also come up in a lasted lesson).
Loss. What does it feel like? Soul crushing, heart breaking, mind numbing. I know what you're going to say, "The pain goes away with time. That lie is a complete load of steaming unicorn s**t. The pain never goes away, it gets harder, especially suicide without a note and an older brother who blamed you (my only sibling by the way, so more family issues, again, another lesson). But handling the pain and being able to talk about it is a huge step.
My point with this: Don't let it consume you. Death is something that isn't easy to handle or deal with. But it is something you must accept. I can't tell you how to deal with it, but I can tell you this: you let it consume you, you will fall into a dark, deep pit that will kill you.
Don't hold it in, just accept it.
