Next lesson: Abuse.
It's a hard topic, so let's just get right into it.
We are going to be talking about four kinds of Abuse: Physical (hitting), Mental (mind games), Emotional (bully), & Sexual (rape).
(This may get graphic, this is all personal experiences and I've lived them all.)
Physical: Physical was the easiest for me to deal with. But it's painful. You just adjust to the pain, to the brusies, and the red marks. There aren't always marks, so it's hard to see, but most times there are. And in this case the Abuser makes everyone around them love them (most cases with abusers). Everyone loves them, but in my case, they picked up on it and never said anything (he was family). Every hit you take can be numbing or painful. Your eyes would bruise, your arm would be twisted with crippling pain, objects thrown hard against your spin. Head aches, bruised and cracked rips, no more breath, even tears hurt to come out of your eyes. Bruised rips knocked the wind out of you and it became like suffocating when you laughed and you wheezed with each breath. Nightmares end up being a relief at night when it all went quiet.
Mental: I don't even know where to begin on this one. It's just mind numbing. You loss you're way and forget who you are. Everything you love and who you loved starts to ditort, starts to blend. An hour turns into a pain crippling pain. You fight with people you don't even know, you make the ones you love feel so bad, and you don't even know it. They use their past as an excuse and try to have pity parties and you're full attention. You can't laugh, your face burns from a smile, and you can't even cry or sleep. You strees, you have to not talk to anyone but that person, you give up on your hopes and desires, you ben to the abuser will. It ruins who you are... It's hard to even get out of bed. You just lose that spark... You just die inside.
Emotional: Ever been maid fun of? Told you're not good enough? Been hated on because of... Well anything? Emotional abuse is just unbearbale. You feel like you're nothing. Sadness just becomes so normal. You don't get mad, you can't feel joy, you can't even feel anger. You're not pretty enough, your hobbies aren't real, you're talents are terrible and you can't do it, you're a failure. You just start to believe it. You start to believe that you deserve to be hated, that love is just a myth. That the world would be better off with you slitting your throat or Over doing on pills, to drown yourself in the bathtub well your family laughs and sits outside the door, to just write suicide notes like they were love letters. It makes you break down and have flashbacks just thinking about it.
Sexual: This topic is sicking to anyone. It's not an easy thing for anyone to talk about. This is just so... Blinding. It is painful. You get held down, have someone force themselves inside of you, and tell you that you like it. That you don't have a choice, that it can get more painful. Not breathing from hands around your throat, a fist tearing you up on the inside, being gagged and blindfolded. Forced down on your knees, wrists and arm being twisted, each blow landing somewhere on your body. Biting and forcing the breath out of your lungs. (It's taken me 30 minutes just to get through this section). The flashbacks, the night terrors, the pain, it all floods back and you wake up screaming, you're afraid, you feel ashamed, and sometimes you don't wake up and let it happen or you just lock up and shut doen. It's......
Lesson: Just take a look. If you see even one of these signs, turn away and go. Just get help. Don't think you deserve this. Non one and I mean no one, Male or Female, deserves this. Just get help, don't let it go on. No more.
