Catch My Bullet (Finished)

Chapter 6: Family

"Ciel, what have you done?!" Sebastian's voice rang in the earl's ears. He bolted up from sleep.
What the hell was that butler on about?.........why do his arms feel wet? Ciel looked down and gasped.
His cuts had bled in his sleep, soaking his nightshirt and bed sheets crimson. Sebastian had horror written on his face, like he had been told that a cat had died.
"Sebastian, I can explain...."
The butler fell to his knees before the boy, taking his left arm, staining his gloves with red.
"Is this my fault?"
"No!" Ciel shouted, and then he blinked. Was it his fault? No, Ciel was the one who had cut himself. "I....I have been..." what was his excuse? Was his reasoning even sane?
"Master.....I think of you as more than a soul to eat. I have come to see you as...my son." the butler dressed in black swallowed and held onto Ciel's arm gently yet as though he were afraid he would turn to dust before him.
The boy did not know how to react. He felt like he was breaking. Something inside of him felt like it was breaking in half. That is when this proud soul broke down and began to sob, tears streaming down his face.
"I'm sorry, Daddy!" Ciel threw himself onto the demon.
Sebastian was shocked at first, but he knew that Ciel needed this....and so did the demon.

[FLASHBACK]
Sebastian looked at Ciel with shock. That was indeed blood covering the pristine white. The demon did not have to look very hard for the cause, as he lifted up the sleeve slightly. He instantly saw the cuts aligning the soft skin. How could he?
The butler felt it, that worry and the longing to make all the bad in Ciel's life go away.
Sebastian had cone to terms with his feelings for his young master. Indeed, Ciel was like a son to him. But at the same time, he also had the urge to kiss him. Sebastian did not think that was a proper fatherly feeling, so he pushed it aside.
Another feeling: anger. Ciel had harmed himself and he knee nothing. Why would Ciel even do it? Those who cut were mentally unstable, depressed. Was Ciel depressed?
What was it that Sebastian was missing?
"Ciel, what have you done?"

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Ciel Phantomhive was crying and sniffling against his butler's chest, clinging onto him.
"Seb-Sebastian, I am sorry..." the boy hiccups and sobs a bit more. "I just....I couldn't handle it....and I....didn't....want you to..to-to laugh at me."
Sebastian felt his heart clench at hearing these words. His son thought that little of him? His dear sweet boy. What had happened to Sebastian for him to feel this way about Ciel? Nevertheless, he would do everything he could for his young master.
"Ciel, I would never laugh at you. You are human, after all. You needed someone to talk to. Never be ashamed of how you feel. Ever. "
In a rush of emotion, seeing tears begin to well in the boy's eyes again, the demon leaned down and gently kissed Ciel.
The boy blushed, and melted, his heart speeding to impossible measures.

Sebastian quickly withdrew.
"Se-Sebastian....why did you...?" the blush remained on the young earl's face.
"I..apologize. I...gather it is highly improper for parents to show that type of affection upon their children?"
Ciel Phantomhive blushed even deeper red, his ears turning pink and his eyes glassy.
"It is very uncommon...." he mumbled. Sebastian nodded.
"I am sorry, Ciel. I acted eashly-"
"Daddy..." Ciel lifted his head high, his blue-gray hair casting a shadow over his eyes. "I wouldn't mind it if you showed that type of affection."

Red eyes glimmered pink for a moment. "My lord, are you quite certain?"

Ciel had felt it, when Sebastian kissed him, that spark that people made such a fuss over. He bad been feeling such things for a bit now, mingling with an overwhelming desire for parental affection. Was this...abnormal? It frightened Ciel to think that here he is, seeing his demon butler as a butler, a pawn, a father, and now- a lover. Could there be any true consultation for him? Certainly he was going mad. This was wrong. It was sinful. And to think that this act was also homosexual......Ciel could be put to death for these acts, especially making a deal, let alone a relationship, with a demon.
Could Ciel come out from this hole he had dug for himself? Did he truly want to?

"Ciel...?" Sebastian's silky, calm voice reached through Ciel's mind, bringing him back to reality.
"Sebastian, I...cannot explain exactly what I feel. Is this wrong of me? Am I under some spell, or curse?" the young boy found his body trembling slightly.
The demon seemed to ponder this for a moment.
"Young master, I wish for your happiness. For demons, these acts are, how you say, normal. It is not uncommon for a parent to bed their offspring, or for it to be homosexual. And age has no bearing either. But you must remember," he lowered his voice seriously. "Demons are evil, sinful. We are from Hell, where dwell all things impure."

Earl Phantomhive found himself smiling and frowning in an instant. Impure. It was unclean, despicable. He remembered his time spent in captivity, the abuse he suffered. His eyes clouded over in dark and horrific memories. Sebastian saw this and held Ciel's face in his hands.
" I would never harm you, or for anything you did not wish. Master, Ciel....I love you dearly." Sebastian caressed under Ciel's right eye, looking at the contract seal and part of him wishing he could eradicate it.
"Ciel, you are the family I have wished for unknowingly. You have changed me in so many ways, for the better. I would put my life above yours."

Ciel took a deep breath and leaned into the demon's touch. "Sebastian, I love you." those words made Sebastian close his eyes and smile.
"Come, let us treat your wounds."
-------------------

Sebastian wipes away blood, his mind wandering. The cuts were sloppy, deep in some places and shallow in others. It seemed that his master was not in a clear state of mind at all when he inflicted these cuts upon himself.
Should he ask more? Should he call in a therapist? Sebastian was at a loss.
Ciel would not look in the butler's direction, instead finding the sink to be very interesting.
"Master, do you think that you need help?" asks that silky voice.
The boy's head snapped to look at Sebastian, who was wrapping his arm in white gauze.
"What kind of question is that?" he demanded.
"I only assumed that you were not in a healthy state when you harmed yourself, and only wondered if I could fetch a professional to help you in ways I cannot."
"Ridiculous! " the earl stood and swayed a bit, getting a bit lightheaded. The demon held his shoulder in case he should collapse.
"Ciel, you lost a lot of blood, you must not move so quickly," he scolded gently.
"I am fine," Ciel said heatedly. "I am in no need of mental help. I am completely sane!"
"I never questioned your sanity," the butler said calmly. He then ran his fingers through that soft hair of his master's saying, "I was merely concerned. I am so afraid of losing you."
His confession made all anger leave Ciel's little body. He then felt a bit guilty.
"I am sorry. You have every right to be worried. But," he then hugged Sebastian's neck. "I am fine, really."
"Do you promise?" Sebastian's eyes flashed dangerously.
Ciel swallows and says quietly,
"Promise."

I tried so hard to get this just right! I hope you liked it. I am planning on some heavy stuff later. Sebastian and Ciel are going through things, testing the waters. I am trying to develop a Sebaciel fanfiction that is unlike others. Different. And Ciel missing his parents and Sebastian filling that hole makes it complete, no matter how strange. They are not related, it isn't a real thing, so it's okay right? *laughs nervously.*
~Sebaschan