Inside (Kagehina)

Extra Chapter

A/N: someone wanted me to write about why Hinata killed himself, so here it is! I actually never cared to explain why but now... >~<" anyways, enjoy!

Hinata's POV

I never wanted to bother anyone. I'm a optimistic little orange who loves volleyball and all my teammates. My life seems great to everyone else, but we were hiding something. My mom, my sister and I were hiding something huge. The problem was huge, so was the body.

You don't hear much about my dad, do you? She killed him, we all did. The physical abuse was to much for us, so Natsu and I didn't stop my mom. I remember the scene so vividly...

A/N: italic = flashback

"Mom... We can't..." Natsu whispered. I held her hand, she was shaking.

"Sh... We have to.. I can't take this anymore, can you?" My mother's voice was shaking, a knife in her hands.

"M-mom, what will we do after you kill him?" I ask, my voice filled with fear. My father lies on the couch, asleep with beer bottles all over the floor.

"I have to, before that damned alcoholic wakes up." She raised the knife, I covered my sister's eyes and blood. My mom didn't stop. It felt like she stabbed him over and over again. My father's body covered with so much blood, overflowed and spilled onto the floor and couch.

You could hear the cries of my sister, see the horror on my face, the smile on my mother's.

We had to carry the body to the trash can, stuffing it in so no one could see.

"It's over children, we don't have to be sad anymore."

She was wrong. I was afraid that people would find out about all this. I go to school trying to act normal and it doesn't really work out.

Kageyama walked towards me and punched my head. "What's wrong with you today?"

"Ow... Don't hit me..."

"I asked what's wrong you dumbass. You only hit two of my sets today, and that smile is different from usual. I can tell."

I had to come up with a lie.

"Nothing is wrong! It's just... Uh... I'm not feeling well! I think I may be getting a little sick." I did a small fake cough and backed away from Kageyama.

He was worried about me. That idiot was worried about me, someone like him. I ask Daichi-san if I could step out of the gym for a second.

I broke into tears the moment I stepped outside. Lying to my friends, hiding a murder. I just couldn't deal with it. I acted as if everything was fine for a long while...

I hid the bruises on my thighs created by my dad, which were soon healing. But I never gotten used to having no pain. After all these years of getting physically abused by my dad, it was weird without it. So I started cutting myself, it felt normal, like a daily routine. Pain is to me like what candy is to children, addictive. I was running out of places to cut myself so one day I just started wearing sweat pants to practice.

"It's really hot today? Why are you wearing sweatpants?" Nishinoya asked me.

"My legs just fell really cold today!"

Time continued, no one suspected a thing. Then time stopped for me. The cutting wasn't enough. I was addicted to pain, then I was thinking...

WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO DIE?

I got to curious, I let the curiosity get the better of me and bought some rope. Setting it up in my room, I put my head through and kicked the chair away. Let me say, that was the best experience I've ever went though. Volleyball is so much fun but nothing compared to pain. It was... wonderful.

I do regret something though. I thought there was no hope for me and that I would live under this guilt, sadness, and pain forever.

That wasn't true.

Kageyama. I could've stayed with him, so my life would change. I didn't know he loved me like I did. I didn't know that my life could've been so much brighter. I wish I could've told Kageyama I loved him earlier.

I found out my love wasn't unrequited after I died.
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I'm sorry everyone.