You're Not My Mate (Wattys2016)

Rejection

WARNING: Trigger warning!!

~Third person POV~

Nothing in the world could compare to the emptiness you feel once your mate has rejected you. Harry had no energy to pay attention to what was going on around him. He was a Zombie. He walked through life without any emotion. He saw Louis, but still felt empty. Louis was no longer his mate. He had no mate. He was destined to go through life, empty and alone now.

Louis, however, felt nothing but sadness. He only wishes he could feel the emptiness Harry felt, so he wouldn't have to feel anything at all. He felt as if his heart was shattered into millions of pieces, he had hurt Harry, but he couldn't take it back, his pride was too much.

He walked into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. He stared into the eyes of a heartless beast. He stared until he couldn't bear to stare anymore, and then he collapsed. He fell to the floor sobbing, hitting his head on the sink in the process, but he didn't care. He deserved the pain. He was horrible.

Even after he realized he had marked Briana in the wrong spot, he felt empty. The only thing to fill that void was Harry, and he didn't have any feelings either. This was all Louis' fault. He hated himself. He didn't deserve to live.

Louis slowly got back up, and walked out of his bathroom and into the kitchen, where he saw Harry, not his happy normal Harry, but the empty, emotionless Harry he had come to know. He sat down in front of him, his eyes filled with Sorrow. Harry looked up at him, his usually bright green eyes, now dull and almost... grey.

~Louis' POV~

"H-Harry" I choked. He didn't reply. Didn't even show a sign that he cared, or heard me. "H-Harry please."

I felt as if he was staring into my soul, but I couldn't look away. I had caused this. Harry is empty and lifeless because of me.

I slowly stood and walked back up to my room. The room I should be sharing with Harry. The room I should have marked him in. The room we would have made love in. The room we would have cuddled in. I let out a gut wrenching sob, that I just couldn't contain anymore. Harry was not mine anymore. And he never will be.

I walked back into my bathroom and looked back into the mirror. I saw the man that I hate. The man that I didn't know. I want to go back. I want to be the old, happy-go-lucky Louis. But I can't.

I stared at myself for a while, my hatred for myself, growing more, with each passing second, until I couldn't bear to look at myself anymore. With one swift punch, the mirror before me, the man before me, shattered into millions of pieces, that could never be fully repaired again.

I walked over to my desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. I began to write:

Zayn, We used to be best mates, before I turned into the monster I am today, I hope you don't feel to badly about this, I know you take things pretty hard. This is not your fault. I am my own person, I make my own decisions. I loved you like a brother Zayn.....

Liam, I hope you and Sophia are happy together. I'm sorry you both had to witness the monster I became. I regret so much. I just want you to know I'm sorry, and it was me who started the rumor of you being afraid of spoons.

Niall, Hey there, Irish lad. I think I'll miss you a lot. You never failed to make a bad situation, better. You light up the room with your smile and laugh. I am sorry for everything.... You were the one I told everything too....

Mum- I am sorry for not writing you an extremely long one. Thank you so much for all of the memories and thank you for raising me, even though I turned out to be a monster. Thank you. I love you.

All of my sisters, I love you guys so much. Take care of each other. Never forget that I love you. Never ever. You guys were my world. Please don't turn out to be like me. Don't turn out to be a monster. I love you.

And Finally, Harry. You are my mate. I am so sorry for rejecting you and getting Briana pregnant. I never meant to be so royally fucked up. I am sorry Harry. I can't say that enough. I love you so much, so much that words cannot describe. You are my mate Harry Edward Styles, I hereby, unreject you, not that it will matter much anyways...... I'll be gone by the time you read this. I love you.

Louis William Tomlinson.

Third person POV

Louis finished writing, tears streaming down his cheeks, as he carefully folded the letter, and put it into an enveloped, marked. 'my last words' He walked out of his bedroom and walked down stairs. Harry wasn't there anymore. He carefully laid the letter on the table and walked back up to his room.

He walked back into the bathroom and into the medicine cabinet. He pulled out his sleeping pills, which were prescribed to him. He walked over to his closet and changed into a nice suit.

He set the pills on his bedside table and laid down in his bed, making sure there were no wrinkles in his suit. He grabbed the bottle of pills and laid his head back.

Shakily he opened the bottle and brought a pill up to his mouth. He put it on his tongue, and swallowed it, which left a bitter after-taste in his mouth, but he didn't care. He swallowed another one and another one, one after another, after another, until there were none left. He dropped the pill bottle, feeling extremely tired. He looked over at his bed stand, he had pictures of him and the boys, and him and his mum and sisters, and him and Harry, He was too tired to even cry.

He slowly.... let his eyes droop, until finally, he was gone.

Hi guys. This is a very serious chapter, and I was crying while writing it.. I am so sorry.

If any of you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts or both, please. Come to me. I will be there. I will be a rock. Just PM me and we can talk. Hell we don't even have to talk. We can just send blank messages. Just know I am here for all of you.

Thank you so much for reading, I am so sorry for this chapter, it made me cry too. Our new goal is 200 reads, since we finally reached our 100 goal. Also please please please go check out my two horror fics that I entered into the Watty's 2016 'When I die' and 'Killer X' It would mean everything to me.

Thank you so much for reading. It means the world to me XX Izzy