Dead Boys (boyxboy)

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The boys locker room was the worst.

I avoided everyone's eye, kept my eyes down. I changed in silence, they all knew my secret. Every boy in this locker room knew that I was gay, and each one of them hated it.

"Hey man, I think the fag was looking at my dick!" I hear a loud voice from across the room. I kept my eyes down still, they were talking about me.

"Hey, faggot! Were you looking at my dick?" I ignored him. Please go away. Please go away. Please go away.

"Aye I was talking to you!" The same voice yells but this time it's closer, much closer. Suddenly I was thrown against the locker, Jackson Carrow had his grip tight on the collars of my shirt.

"You were looking at my dick, you fag!" He hissed in my face.

"N-no, I swear I wasn't." I was almost lost for words, fear consumed me. To think that Jackson was once my best friend.

He pulled me away from the lockers slightly just to slam me back into them. I flinched at the throbbing I now feel at the back of my head.

"I know you were!" He yelled. I took a glance around me, everyone was still, waiting for his next move.

"Sorry Jack, you're not my type." I said and instantly regretted my cheeky remark. His fist collided with my cheek and I was on the ground in a second. He then proceeded to kick me in the ribs, and more of my former friends decided to join in.

This all took place two months ago, the incident ended with me in the hospital with three cracked ribs, a black eye and a sprained wrist. My parents flipped and sued the family's of the five lacrosse players who decided to take out their homophobic rage out on me. Their ex friend who was gay.

When I was fifteen and just about to start my freshmen year, I came out to my parents. At first they didn't really know what it meant, but it didn't take long for them to understand and they've been extremely supportive.

My mom is super sensitive and super emotional and super overprotective. When I got out of the hospital, she made it clear to me that I would never step foot in that high school again. Since we lived in a small town, there were no other high schools. So we moved four towns over, my parents both found new jobs and bam! Here we are.

Summer will be over in a few days and that's when I start my new school and the beginning of my junior year of high school.

I am determined not to let the same thing happen. I don't want my parents to feel the need to start their life over again once more. I feel so guilty about them having to pick their lives up and leave.

During freshman year, I only told one person about my sexuality and that one person was my life long best friend, Jackson Carrow (Yes, the same guy who gave me a one way ticket to the hospital). He seemed totally okay with it, but buy Monday that week, everyone knew. I was on the lacrosse team, and I had such strong friendships with those guys. They all turned against me.

So this time, I'll make sure no one knows. I'm so over being beat up. I'm so over being the bully's punching bag. No matter what, no one can know.

*****

"Oh Bellamy, dear." A knock on my door wakes me, and I couldn't mistake that concerned voice anywhere.

"Yes mom?" I say, she smiles as she opens my bedroom door and steps in. My mother had definitely aged in the last month. Wrinkles due to stress were clearly visible and her curly, shoulder length brown hair was losing its colour.

"Lovey, it's dinner." She says to me.

I glance over at the clock, 5:30pm sharp, just like everyday.

I crawl out of my bed and follow her downstairs. We've only been in the house for a week, so at the moment our dinner table consists of a cardboard box with couch pillows as our chairs. I don't know why my parents haven't put up our dinner table yet.

"Hey son, how you feeling?" My dad asks as I sit down on the burgundy coloured pillow. My dad still had his scrubs from work. He says that so far his new job at the hospital is going well.

"Hungry," I say and my mom laughs. She sets my plate of roast beef and mashed potatoes with green beans in front of me. Classic mom food.

Dinner is silent, until my dad asks, "Are you excited for school?"

"Um, I don't know yet. My last experience at school wasn't really the greatest." I snort.

"Bellamy!" My mother exclaims and hits my shoulder with napkin. "That is not something we joke about in this house!"

"Why can't I? Like, I'm the one who got beat up and it only took you guys two years to realize it." I shrugged.

"We've been over this, you know how sorry your father and I am." She says.

"Whatever," I say and stuff my mouth with mashed potatoes.

My parents both sighed but decided to keep eating.

I hate how rude I am to them sometimes, but I can't help it.

******

"Help your mother clean the dishes." My dad says.

"Okay, okay." I say and put my hands up.

I walk into the kitchen, but my mom isn't washing the dishes. She's standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her face and she's crying.

"Mom? Mom? What's wrong?" I walk up to her, extremely concerned.

"I'm so sorry, Bellamy!" She sobs, her whole body is shaking. My heart sinks.

"It's not your fault, I should've told you." I say, bringing her into a hug.

"We should've known."

"There was no way you could. I hide everything." I said, hugging her tightly.

I've actually screwed up so much, look what I did to my mother. All of this is my fault, why did I have to be gay?

__________________________

A/N:

I'm sorry this chapter was painfully short but I promise they'll be longer than this, at least twice as long.

I know I already have another book up that I'm currently writing but hey, if I get tired of this one, I can always take it down.

But I honestly love the idea I have for this book, and it's the first time I've written boyxboy. As you could tell from my reading lists, basically everything on there is boyxboy so it's not like I'm that much of a newbie I promise.

I really hope you guys all liked this, if you did leave a comment and like pleasee. I like reassurance lmao.

Other books by me:

Saving Him
Where the Lines Overlap
Sad Thoughts
Escaping Myself

(lil bit of shameless self promotion)

-Hannah

Have fun in Lala Land