I had eighth period lunch, and it was clear by then that Ryder was in all my classes. He was easily the most frustrating person I'd ever met, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. There was a heart under all of that arrogance, and I'd come to the conclusion that if I had to deal with him for the rest of the year I would find it.
So as I retrieved my lunch, I scanned the room for a place to sit. The first familiar face I spotted was Ryder, but he was sitting with his minion, Jack. Uhm, no thanks. Other than him, there was Alex but he was sitting with an intimidatingly pretty blonde... I suppose I could just sit by myself.
I sighed inwardly and dragged myself over to an empty table. Unenthusiastic, I dropped my lunch and slumped down into a chair. I stared down at the lunch I had picked out and wondered exactly what inspired me to choose such a calorie filled meal.
I guess I had been staring at my tray longer than I thought because when I looked up, Jack was sitting beside me.
"H-Hello," his voice was deeper and raspier than I remembered. Then again, we hadn't spoken since what--the seventh grade? It was obvious he would have hit puberty by then.
"Hi." Unconsciously, I shifted in my chair so I was slightly leaning away from him. He was sitting too close for comfort, although comfortable for me would probably be across town.
"Are you not eating?" He frowned at my untouched tray, tilting his head. His eyes looked green in the light, even though I'd thought they were brown.
I ignored his question, looking over my shoulder to where Ryder was sitting, harassing a skinny blonde girl with hesitant blue eyes. Did he not come over because I wasn't blonde? Alex was sitting with a blonde as well. Maybe they were into more of a Barbie girl type. I wasn't good enough for either boys. They were skinnier, too. Likely a size zero.
"Jamie."
His voice was serious, far more serious than I remember him ever being. My gaze flickered back to him, and he looked a lot more concerned than I would have rathered.
"I'm eating, okay?" I rolled my eyes. For emphasis, I picked up my sandwich and took a big 'ol bite of it. "So thank you, Mom."
I didn't know why I was being such a bitch. I guess, he sounded so... worried. It was a tone I had never really heard before. I didn't know if I liked it. So, I pushed my chair back so abruptly it made a loud screech and then proceeded to slam it back towards the table.
"I'm sorry, I just--"
"Save it."
I stormed out of the room, feeling both Ryder and Alex's gazes burning into my back. Earlier today, I wanted nothing to do with either of them. So why was I walking away with such a heavy heart?
I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me and checked the stalls for other students. Empty. Then, with a small sigh of relief, I locked myself in the handicap stall. I sat down on the floor by the toilet, the thought of the other skinny girls burned into my mind. If I was skinny like them, would Ryder and Alex pay attention to me?
The single bite of my sandwich felt like it was burning a hole in my stomach. I tied my hair back into a messy bun and leaned over the toilet, spilling the contents of everything I had eaten today into it, plus some other stuff.
.
Twenty minutes later, I left the bathroom, blending in with the others on their way to next period. My head felt light, and I wondered if I should go to the nurse, but she was just going to ask me if I ate and try to send me back to the cafeteria for more food.
I slipped into ninth period just as the late bell rang and scanned the room for an empty seat. The only one there was next to... Jack.
Ryder, of whom was sitting on Jack's other side, caught my eye. He raised an eyebrow at me, tilting his head.
There was no way I was going to sit next to Jack. No fucking way. I looked at Ryder imploringly, and he motioned me over.
"What's wrong with you?" He whispered when I got to his desk.
"I can't sit there," I hissed.
"Why not?" His eyebrows shot up, not comprehending what I meant.
I looked over at the empty seat. On its other side was... Ali Cruz. "She scares me," I lied.
"Alyson?" He looked even more confused, but he didn't question it further. Instead, he stood up. "Jack, move over a seat."
My heart was in my throat as I watched Jack look up from his phone at Ryder, and then at me. "Why?"
"Just do it."
So Jack moved in to the empty seat, and before I could move, Ryder moved into the seat on Jack's other side, leaving me the seat where he'd previously been sitting.
"You don't have to lie to me." He smirked.
Before I could respond, Miss Stewart entered. "Get in a seat, skinny jeans!"
My face burned, and I slipped into the seat without a word. Ryder was looking at me, but I opened my notebook and began taking down the notes on the board.
.
By the end of the day, I had never been happier to go to my own home. I avoided Alex on the bus, ignoring him when he waved me over and sitting up in front by the bus driver. I was disgusted with myself, and if he were to find out what I'd done during lunch, he would surely feel the same. The idea of him hating me as much as I did right now was almost unbearable.
I would face him tomorrow, I decided. But for now, I just wanted to be by myself... Or rather, as by myself as I could be when on a bus filled with annoying high school kids.
"How was your day, sweetie?" The bus driver, Lisa, asked me.
I bit my lip. I didn't want to load anything too serious on her, and nothing really all that awful had happened... So in the end, I said, "It was wonderful. I'm so glad school's back."
I saw her smile through the mirror. "I'm happy you feel that way. It's so nice to see you smile again."
If only that was the truth. I forced a smile, though, as the bus stopped and I watched Alex climb off. He avoided my gaze just as I avoided his.
"Oh, sweetie," she said as she closed the door and the bus started moving again. "Is that what had you down? That boy?"
I forced out a scoff. "Him? No! He's just some boy in a few of my classes. I've never even seen him before today."
"Mmmhmm."
I didn't reply. I just stared out the window until she pulled up at my stop, and then I climbed out without another word. Had I seen him before today? He did look a little familiar... Huh.
