Princess // l.s.

09. waking up

Louis got off Harry's lap as gently as possible, and he was at a loss of words. He had no idea what was the most appropriate thing to say after such an intense situation. He was thinking of the most polite way to say goodbye when he heard Harry clear his throat.
"Would you,.. Would you stay a little while longer?" Harry asked this, facing the ground as if he was ashamed of himself.
Why is he like that? Why is he always so nervous to ask questions?
"I'd love to." Louis answered, the smile evident in his voice.

--
A little while turned out to be the whole day and it was night time before they even realized. Harry had some leftover lasagna which they finished for lunch and made burgers for dinner. They played a game (on Louis insistence) where Harry spoke something in some language and Louis had to guess what he said and if he guessed correctly Harry pecked him. (Louis couldn't guess correctly even once, though he believed he guessed perfectly thrice based on Harry's kisses)
All in all, it was a perfectly lazy day spent amazingly.

--

Louis was on the bed and Harry was brushing. The room was twinkling due to the soft fairy lights adorning one corner of the wall. He saw Harry coming in and he shifted a bit and Harry slipped in.
"Did you have fun?"
He felt Harry nodding, "Yes. Thank you..."
Louis laughed softly, "don't thank me. But I'm glad any which way... Do you live alone?"
Harry turned around to face Louis. They were now, both lying facing each other, the fairy lights casting a soft glow on Louis face which according to Harry, made his blue eyes sparkle and his heart beat fast.
"Yes. I do. You ?"
Louis shook his head, "I'm supposed to. That is my apartment but Niall always ends up there somehow even though he lives next door."
"Who is Niall?"
"He is my brother, step brother but feels the same...he is also the most annoying person on the entire planet and its not a joke. Its a fact. I'm really not kidding. But yea, he also wins your heart very soon, but if you ever say that to him I'll deny deny deny and then I'll beat you till you're a pulpy mess. Okay?"
Harry looked at him with wide eyes, "umm.. Okay?!"
Louis pulled out his hand from under the blanket and poked his cheek, "Loosen up Harry. Its a joke..."
Harry blinked and nodded and slowly let out a smile.
Louis beamed.

"Sleepy?" Louis asked after a while. Harry hesitated but then nodded. "Turn over" Louis whispered and motioned for him to do the same with his hand. Harry turned so that his back was to Louis.
Louis scooted forward such that they were touching and Louis held his breath.
Why is he evoking such a reaction from me? This is so.. Not right. But right. My god, I'm an emotional wreck when it comes to him. I'm a mess. A sloppy, slippery mess and damn you. Damn you Harry for being this beautiful.
He wrapped his arm around his torso and almost smiled when Harry pressed back into him and held his hand in his.
"Sleep hazza...I'm right here..."
Harry snuggled closer and Louis tried to control his emotions.

--

When harry woke up, he could hear Louis' soft snores and a smile formed on his lips and to stop him from giggling he brought his fingers to his lips and pressed tight.
Feeling like this.. Feeling so good, was is okay ? Is it okay to feel this way so soon after someone committed suicide and knowing that you were one of the reasons ? Is it justified to feel this .. To feel so at peace and loved and good and so blissful ? What have I done to deserve this? To deserve him.
Harry blinked away his tears..
This is too much ; and its too much too soon. Louis is clouding my judgment. I need to think. I need to be alone.. Yes. I need to be alone for a while at least. That'll be a solu-
Harry's thoughts were interrupted when he felt Louis moving and his hand moved from his torso and then fell back in place again.
But how can I want to be alone when I feel so at home now, with Louis...
Harry stilled.
His heart was beating so fast that he couldn't help but clench his fingers. He got up and sat.
"Oh my god" he mouthed.
At home? At home? Louis feels like... Home?

Louis suddenly felt weird... He couldn't explain it and that's when he noticed that he was no longer in deep sleep. He squinted his eyes open and saw that Harry was sitting on the bed, almost like a statue. The only movements were of him breathing. His hair was a little messy but it fell gloriously on his back and Louis smiled at the thought of checking out Harry's hair.
"Morning" he mumbled. "Did you sleep okay?"
Harry looked down at him and nodded, "thank you" and maintained eye contact.
Louis thought for a moment that he was going to lean down for a kiss but Harry just got out of bed and into the washroom. Louis shook his head. He reached for his cell phone when he saw 11 missed calls. And too many messages...
He opened Niall's as there were over 30 messages from him.
'Jsns'
'Kanakaoq'
'9@(1?@@9'
'Iajqnqk'
'Kdnksejkwk'
'Dude pick up man'
'What the hell?!?!?!?!'
'Dad is super pissed.'
'Where are you?'
'WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?'
'I swear if you ditch me... I'll kill you.'
'No I correct myself. If you ditch me I'll throw your PS4 out of the window'
'No. What I'll do is, I'll burn your football shoes. I'm not kidding.'
'See.. I'm very close' picture of his shoes over his kitchen stove.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Louis almost screamed.
He went back to scrolling through his messages when he realised, its 20th Dec.
"FUCK."
I am so screwed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Oh my god.
He got out of the pyjamas and wore his jeans and he was changing his tee-shirt when Harry came back in and stopped in his tracks.
"You leaving?" His voice was hoarse.
Pulling the tee over his head and picking up his sweatshirt he nodded, "I have to. I have a major, MAJOR, major function to attend and I completely forgot. Shit. I'm so late and I'm so screwed. So if you don't see me ever again you know I'm dead and its all your fault Harry."

Harry was stunned. Literally stunned. The words kept ringing in his head. Bold as ever. Over and over again.
I'm dead and its all your fault Harry. I'm dead and its all your fault Harry. I'm dead and its all your fault Harry. All your fault. All your fault.
Harry unknowingly took a step back.
"Harry?"
He looked at Louis as if he was a ghost.
"Oh my god. Harry! Shit. No. NO. that was not what I meant and you know it. Harry this was a joke. Oh my god. Shit. No. Harry? Please please. Hey? Listen to me. I-DID-NOT-MEAN-IT. I swear. Oh god. Harry?"
Harry just nodded.
"Please. Look at me at least. I feel terrible."
Harry looks at him, Louis' brows were creased his lips drawn in worry and Harry felt a tug at his heart,he winced.
I should not be feeling this way for him. I should not be feeling this way for anyone so soon. This is wrong. This is betrayal.
"Its okay. I understand. You're getting late. You want me to drive you?" It was an empty offer, he didn't want to drive Louis anywhere. Not right now.
Louis shook his head, "I already called a cab. Thank you though."
Harry walked away and into the living room to open the door. "Bye."
Louis paused, "I am really sorry Harry. I just.. I just said it and it was a joke. I would never say something like that. I just.. I am.. I just am really very sorry."
Harry nodded, his face looking down.
Louis didn't want to pressurise, so he didn't say anything further. He walked out of Harry's apartment and waited for the elevator. He heard the door close.
This was so stupid. I am so stupid. Fuck. I hope he doesn't do anything rash... Shit. Shit.. I forgot to take his phone number again. Someone kill me now please.
As soon as he said this his phone rang.
"Great..." He groaned.

--
As soon as Harry closed the door he sunk to the floor right there. He felt terrible. He felt terrible for behaving the way that he did specially after all that Louis had done for him in such a short amount of time. He wanted to curl up and die. He just.. He felt weak and horrible. And sad. He missed Louis. He missed his presence. His presence was very comforting and safe. As bad as it seems , he also missed Nick.

He knew that it would be a long time before he got up from the floor.