Princess // l.s.

19: the kiss

4th January

Louis was still sleeping when Harry woke up. He couldn't sleep.
What am I supposed to do? I have to do the right thing. Its the least I can do for them when I am to be held responsible for his death. B-but Louis.

Harry's eyes welled up. He instinctively held on to Louis tighter, as if promising that he would never ever let him go.
Oh lord! Please. Show me a way...

-*-

6th January

"Niall, pass me that file."
"Why should I always do this? You go get it."
"You are closer, please."
Niall looked back, surprised at the usage of 'please' and passed the file without another word. Louis was trying to work. But he couldn't. He kept getting distracted.
Louis was tired.
Louis was frustrated.
Louis was afraid.

Harry was not behaving normally. Since that day, when he broke down sobbing, things have not been right. He does not talk that much and he is withdrawing himself.
Louis can feel it. And it feels wrong. Terribly wrong.
He wants to know what happened. He wants to know what is going on.

He wants his Harry back.

---

Later that evening.

Louis was in the elevator, he hoped Harry was home, but couldn't be sure as he never replied to his text.
Stepping out of the elevator he rang the bell, and waited.
And waited.
After a while, he grew impatient and took out his set of keys, unlocking the door.

What he saw, left him stunned.

The house was a mess. But that was not what made Louis heart stop beating. It was the suitcases.
Three huge suitcases, two of them zipped and the third one open, the contents were shirts and tee-shirts and other clothes.
Harry's shirts.

Louis stood rooted, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening.
Where was Harry ?

--

"Yes I'll be there soon, please. Stop crying. Please, jus-" Harry struggled to unlock his door while talking on his phone and carrying shopping bags. As soon as he entered he stumbled.

Louis?

He hung up on Clair and dropped the shopping bags to the floor.
"Louis?"
Louis didn't turn around. Harry's heart was beating erratically. He knew that he had to explain what was going on to Louis, but he wasn't ready. And now, seeing him standing here in his apartment was not something that Harry was ready for.
"Louis?" He called out again.

"What is going on?" Louis asked, his voice small, he still didn't turn around to face him.

"Louis please..."

"Please what?"

"Please l-"

"-look at you? Ask you what is all this? Where are you going? And why didn't you tell me?"
Louis turned around and Harry gulped. He had never seen Louis look as pale as he was now.
He seemed to have aged in a day. The wrinkles by his eyes were more prominent. His back was a little hunched. His eyes were no more sparkling.
Harry didn't want to see Louis like this. And to think that he caused Louis to be like this made a shiver run down his spine. But it also made one thing clear.
He had to go.

"What is going on Harry?"

Harry hung his a low, what was he supposed to tell him.

"Harry.. Please, just-just don't lie and please tell me where you are going?"

"I'm going away."

The silence in the room was deafening. Louis didn't know what to make out of that statement.

"What do you mean?"

"It means that, Louis.. Don't look at me like that. Please.."

"Complete the sentence. It means what?"

Harry fidgets with his hands, "I'm going away Louis. Moving. I was going to tell you ab-"

"When? When were you going to tell me? After you had finished packing ? Or when you were already gone?"
Louis voice was growing now, it was no longer weak.

"No, Louis. It isn't like that-"

"Then pray tell me how is it? HOW IS IT?"

"Louis.." Harry whimpered.
It is all my fault. It is all my fault. All the time.

"Harry. What is going on? Is it to do with Clair?"

Harry's breath hitched. Then he shook his head.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying! She has very little to do with my leaving. It is my choice. I want to go."

"You want to go?"

Harry didn't say a word.

"You want to go. And you want to leave. When were you going to tell me? After you had already left? And that's not even the question. Why? Why would you want to leave all of a sudden ? Are you not happy ?" Louis stopped talking, then he spoke again, with a voice so small and weak that Harry nearly cried.

"Is it me?"

Harry shook his head and walked towards him, "No. No no no, Louis. Never. Its not you. Please, don't think that." Harry was cupping Louis face with his palms.
Louis held on to Harry's hands. "Then why? I thought you loved me." He whispers.
Harry closed his eyes.
This is too much. It hurts too much.

"I do. I love you Lou. And I'm not leaving because of you, if anything you would make me want to stay here for eternity if possible, but im leaving because of me. Because I have to leave. Because there are things that need to be done, and responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Never for once my darling, think that this is because of you. Because you my dear..you are one of the best things that have happened to me and I shall love you and cherish you until I die. That I know for sure, okay love?"

"NO. not okay Harry. No. Don't leave. Please. If you meant all that, please don't leave. Don't leave this town. Don't leave me. Please. I-I don't know how to convince you, but if the idea of being with me for as long as we both live does not convince you, I'm not sure what will."

Harry could see Louis struggling not to cry. He could feel the tremors running through Lou's body and he hated it.
He lifted his chin up and slowly pressed a soft kiss on his forehead, wrapping his arms around Louis tiny waist.
Louis jumped a little and clamped his legs around Harry's waist.
"Harry.. Kiss me."

Harry dipped and took his lips within his own, his heart swelling up with emotions. His eyes were welling up and his throat felt like he just swallowed stones. His arms felt weak and his legs felt as if they were jelly, in spite of all this, he didn't let go.
If this is the last kiss we have, I'm going to kiss him forever.
And that's exactly what they did.

They kissed.
They traced each others tongues in the most passionate way there is.
They bit each others lips hoping that they could mark them as theirs forever.
They kissed with love.