My Brother's Keeper

CHAPTER NINE

Colin's body jerked awake, it was that dream again him being chased.  He couldn't recall a time that he'd dreamed the same thing twice and now this dream has happened on four separate occasions.  His subconscious was definitely trying to tell him something, he wished it would give him a glimpse into the reason or at least the face of that was always hidden by shadows.  Colin didn't want to move he was draped over Jared's body and didn't want to wake him it was still early the sun was just beginning to peak through the blinds.  He dragged his hand softly over Jared's chest and looked up at him.  He looked peaceful his lips slightly gap as he snored softly.  

Colin supposed Jared deserved to sleep a bit later, he'd taken him a ride of pleasure until the early morning hours.  But it was his words of encouragement before the sex it was what he needed most.  It gave him the courage he needed to move into the next phase of his life.  He needed to grow up and be a man, try or fail, he needed to live with the decisions he made in his life.  His fear in doing that was holding him captive, stuck he didn't move forward or backward he felt more like he was tossed to a fro like a leaf in the wind.  Now he could see differently that he could move in away he liked and he'd decided that he would not answer to anyone for living his life.

Colin glanced at Jared again as he felt Jared's hand drift down his back and land on his ass squeezing his butt cheek.  Good morning Colin chuckled.

Good morning Jared grinned and kissed Collin on the forehead.  It's early why are you awake? Its's early.

I don't know my eyes just popped open, I'm thinking about taking a run or go down to the exercise room.  Do you want to join me?

We could do that or we could get our cardio a different way.

Um, Colin purred and straddle Jared's hips.  You've peeked my interest he smiled and leaned over and took Jared's mouth in a deep kiss.  Tell me what you're thinking and if we are thinking the same thing maybe he laughed.

Just as Jared began to respond Colin's phone vibrated and chimmed a song on the night stand.  Allison, Jared groaned.

Jared reached for the phone and handed it to Colin.  I'll give you some privacy.

No, I want you to stay, I need you to stay he confessed and moved to lay beside him just as he tapped the green phone button.  Hello he said, barely above a whisper.   After that, he was quiet, she was excited and he was about to ruin her day.  He pressed his face into Jared's chest and listened to her go on and on regarding her plans for the day.  It was always the same these days.  The wedding was all she talked about.  He had long ago believed that Allison truly wanted the wedding more than she wanted to be married to him.  Allison, Colin moaned, trying to get a word into the conversation.  We really need to talk, he began and took a deep breath, he relaxed a bit as Jared pulled him closer in his arms.

Jared listened to the part of the conversation he could hear and stroked Colin's back and tried to keep him calm.  Yes, everything is wrong, he answered.  We can't get married Allison he said in a rushed tone.  The thing is Allison, I'm not ready.  I-We are rushing into this and-- He went quiet as she began her rant about the cost of everything.  He sighed as she begged and asked why not, how can we do this to our parents, and finally, how could he do this to her? And the nail in the coffin, but I love you.  Colin's heart raced, he was hating himself at this moment and wouldn't blame her if she felt the same by the end of this conversation.  I'm gay Allison! He shouted into the phone.  I, am he repeated lowering his voice.  It's not new Allison, it's not you either he argued.  I've known since middle school Allison.  I just wanted to make everyone happy, but I know if I do this in the long run neither of us will be happy, I'm sorry.  Colin was not shocked when the line went dead.