After the End: Maki's Graduation

03 - The Pain...

"...don't leave me alone...please..."

"......"

"Maki-chan...I...."

"STOP IT NICO!! STOP BEING STUBBORN, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!!?"

NICO'S POV

Unfair. It just felt so unfair to me. Why she was gone for so long...without sparing some effort to reach out to me.

I was aware that my reactions to her just now seemed so immature, so irresponsible, so...selfish. Yeah, just that. I wanted her to see me like that. I wanted Maki-chan to see just what happened to the Nico she left behind, the Nico she neglected, the Nico she ignored.

"Why....Maki-chan.....you think it is so simple to answer that, knowing all this time you never ever came for me?"

"...can't you understand, Nico? I can no longer be with you anytime like we used to - "

"YOU COULD MAKI-CHAN!! YOU COULD!! YOU WOULD!! DON'T EVER MAKE IT AN EXCUSE THAT YOU COULD HAVE NEVER DONE MORE!!!"

I could not hold it in.

"Tell me, Maki-chan!! Where were you when I celebrated my birthday? Where were you when I finally got a contract to become an official idol? Where...where were you when I was looking for you!!?"

"......"

"It wasn't enough, okay. You were texting me, chatting with me, but that is not enough for me, alright Maki-chan?! I wanted you to visit me at my house, I wanted you to invite me to your house or some kind of date just the two of us. I wanted to see you more, I wanted to touch you more, I wanted to hear your voice more, I want......I WANT TO BE WITH YOU A BIT MORE!!!"

Very selfish for me to say, but I did not give a damn. Maki-chan needs to hear it all.

"Do you get it now?!! How I feel....how I...."

"I feel the same way too, idiot."

"What?"

Then she replied with a shrewd, annoyed look in her face.

"I was waiting for you too. I was waiting for you to say something outrageous, bring me to a place to have fun, waiting for you to at least come here at school to make some ruckus in order to get attention......where were you as well, huh?"

I was surprised - not only did I just make a hypocritical statement, Maki-chan looked at me with anger as she held her hand tighter than before.

"....that is nothing compared to..."

"COMPARED TO BEING LEFT ALONE, HUH NICO!!? Did you think all this time I too tolerated the fact you never came to me or something?!"

"....if you realized that, then why did you not take action at all!?"

"Isn't it enough that I contacted you via online methods? Nico, it ain't as simple as you think it is for me to just go to your house, knock on the door and call your name! It isn't simple enough to just ask you out for a date at some random place without considering the exposure we'll get from the public! Look, things have changed, alright? Just accept it - "

"The Maki-chan I know would never easily give up on something.....never....unless she gets bored with - "

"HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT I WILL EVER LOSE INTEREST IN YOU - "

"What do you want me think then, Maki-chan?!! What? You think I can stay comfortable all these years without seeing you? Every day I was worried that maybe you already have a boyfriend or someone special now besides me! I'm sorry, I never wanted to doubt you but...I just don't know what to think!! - "