Darker Days (Glanny FanFic)

6

Danny's P.O.V

Numb.

All I feel is numb.

The window is lying wide open so I should feel cold. My cuts won't have properly scabbed over so I should feel pain, but all I feel is numb.

I push myself up on my bed, having just woken up I'd expect to feel stiff, there is only the numb.

I can't take it anymore I need to feel something.

I reach a hand down the side of my bed and feel around, searching. Nothing. I lean over the side, like a child would with my top half hanging off the bed with only me legs keeping me on, and start rummaging around under my bed. How could they have gotten lost in all the crap already i'd only left them there last night and hadn't touched them since.

That's when I feel the bandages chaffing off of the sheets.

I study them carefully, I didn't do this did I? There's no way this was me. Which means that someone was here, and saw me like this, and that's why my razors and drink aren't under my bed where I left them.

Who else could it have been? Who else actually gives a damn about me to come and check on me.

Glen would.

The fact that he had seen me like this brought tears to my eyes. Especially after what he went through all those years ago, but did that put me off? Not in the slightest. If he'd taken all my blades and my drink, I'd find something else to use. I stumbled my way through to the kitchen area and reached out to grab one, but the knife block was empty. Damn, Power knew what he was dealing with. But I had another trick up my sleeve. I slammed open the cabinet door and took out a cup and threw it to the floor anticipating the loud smashing sound of broken glass to greet my ears and provide me with something I could use; but it just bounced and rolled away. I picked it up and tapped it three times, Plastic. Non smashable. Dammit Glen had taken out all of my real glasses and left all the plastic ones. Why did he have to care so damn much why can't he leave me alone to my suffering! But I still had one more line of defence that he certainly didn't know about.

Most people's cutlery drawers contained just exactly that; cutlery. Despite the fact that mine was now completely empty of everything but plastic spoons, glen had left the plastic divider. Which was just as well or he would have found my last resort. I picked it out of the drawer and tossed it behind me not giving a damn where it landed and picked up the small bag.

I tipped a small portion of the contents onto the table and sorted it so it was in some sort of straight line. I placed a finger over my left nostril and lowered my head down. I inhaled deeply, feeling it go up into my head and diffuse outwards. It felt good. It released some feeling, destroyed the numbness.

But I still wasn't satisfied with that.

This, this powder was making me feel good. How can I allow that when I have nothing to feel good about? I deserve the pain and always will. But I have nothing to hurt myself with. I start to get desperate and start clawing at my legs and chest, clawing and clawing until my skin turns red and raw and my blood starts to flow. I feel it, I actually feel something.

I only stop when the familiar blackness of unconsciousness overtakes me and I fall into a deep cavern of nothingness.

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A/N- hi, sorry it's so depressing. same for the last chapter. comment what you think because I love comments, vote and follow:-)