My Life With the Parker Boys

Chapter 1

         

"Why didn't you save me?" he asked, blue orbs staring directly at my tear-stained face.

"I love you. I love you please don't leave. I couldn't save you I'm sorry please don't leave, I love you," I cried, holding onto the boy questioning me.

"You don't love me. If you did I'd be okay," he replied, trying to release my grasp.

"No!" I screamed, "You can't leave me please! Please stay I need you!"

"You didn't save me," he told me before slipping out of my firm hold on his forearm. The only thing left, were my screams to drown me.

I jolted awake, sitting upright in my bed. A thin layer of sweat lay across my forehead, and my heavy panting was the only noise capable of hearing.

I climbed out of bed, placing my feet on the hardwood floor surrounding me. I decided to make a cup of Chamomile tea to help me fall asleep because Tracey had recommended the treatment when she first arrived and ever since, I've been hooked.

My echoing footsteps patted across the empty floor, and as I reached for the handle, the door flew open, showing a very worried and exhausted Tracey.

"Oh my god Mae, you scared me," breathed Tracey, embracing me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Parker, I seemed to have had another nightmare," I responded, upset that I had woken her up.

"Honey, I don't know how many times I have to tell you to call me Tracey. Now, let's go get you some tea started, I'm sure it'll help you," she offered, walking out the door.

I followed after her and used the moonlight lit halls to guide me to the kitchen. On our way, I grabbed a blanket from the living room and wrapped it around myself.

When I made it to the kitchen, Tracey was already gathering the supplies for the tea. She was boiling a pot of water on the stove as well.

"Did you get the same nightmare again?" Tracey asked, taking a seat across from me while waiting for the water to boil.

"Yes," I whispered, nodding my head.

She grabbed my hands in hers, which made me lift my head to look at her tear stained face as well. "It's going to be better soon, May. I promise."

"No it's not," I cried, years spilling down my cheeks, "It's never going to be okay. They left and they're never coming back and I-I couldn't save them."

Tracey stood up and brought me in a hug. "Mae it's not your fault they died. You didn't know, you couldn't do anything about it."

"It's all my fault," I replied, barely hugging Tracey back.

"Who told you that this time," she asked me, referring to my dream.

"James," I answered, words hanging in the air.

"I promise you it's only in your dreams. It's not you fault he died," she reasoned, trying to make me feel better about the accident.

"If I wasn't selfish enough to stay here and not go out with my family, I would've been with them. I could've saved them."

"How?" Tracey asked, "How could you have known to save them? How could you have prevented all of them from getting injured? It's not your fault they're gone Mae."

"I just don't know what to do anymore," I whispered, more to myself than to Tracey.

"I promise that once we get to California you'll get a fresh start that will help you out," she assured me.