Unexpected Love

Reassurance

What was I supposed to do now...
Seunghyun sighed and looked at me and grabbed one of my hands, "Jagiya--" had he really just called her that..they weren't even dating.. "--I know your heart hurts, your emotions hurts, everything hurts, but we are here for you, we always will be, as the hyung, I say you should stay here with us, let us take care of you for the time being..please you'll be better off here than on your own.."
He had called me Jagiya (meaning honey, sweetie, darling, love) why...I looked in his eyes as he wished for me to stay with them..I nodded my head slowly and took the offer. I rather be with them than be with no one, I felt comfortable with them anyways. He continued to hold my hand as he turned away sitting straight facing the tv now. He's just holding my hand to comfort me..right?
I slowly took my hand back from him which I instantly regretted. He put his head down slightly but didn't show any emotion. I hugged the big animal V.I had given me, I felt bad for bringing this emotion to them, even though they didn't seem to mind. I was tired from crying, from the pain in my chest, from everything.
Youngbae noticed the tired me and he looked at the boys as in a way of saying she can sleep in my room tonight. He picked me up slowly and I was somewhat conscious and he brought me upstairs and laid me down on the bed and he had tucked me in. He ran back downstairs. Truth was I wasn't asleep I was drained emotionally though. I heard the boys snickering, I could tell they were worried. I opened the window in the room and opened the door to Youngbae's room then I sat on the window ledge feeling the cold air. I listen to the boys worry but truth was yeah I was sad but I was also okay because it had been like I was without my parents for a while anyways. Still I missed them. I grabbed a pen and paper and sat on the stairs a bit closer to the living room. I began to write a letter as if it were to my parents. I apologized and told them I loved them. I texted Jiyong.
"Jiyong, why do I feel so sad but yet so loved, love by you guys, I don't deserve you guys.."
Jiyong : shut up, get down here and sit with us and when you actually fall asleep you can sleep with Seunghyun again ;3 he seems really worried by the way.

I laughed at Jiyong, he did know how to cheer me up. I walked into the living room and the boys stood up and looked at me, "guys I'm okay, it's going to be okay because I know my parents loved me" I smiled to reassure them I was fine, but I was lying and Seunghyun had been staring into my eyes so had Jiyong, they could tell I was lying. The three who didn't noticed all smiled at me and offered to make me food or a drink. I of course wanted a drink but like the past week or so my hunger wasn't the same so I hadn't eaten much. One of them brought me a drink, little did I know Youngbae had mixed wine in it but the rest knew. They thought it would calm me, and they right because it did. I sat on the couch next to Seunghyun and Jiyong and I quickly fell asleep, my head leaning on Seunghyun's shoulder. He lightly played with my hair for a few seconds before realizing the maknaes had all been watching him. He quickly stopped and coughed as if he never did it.
"Seunghyun..you like her, don't you.." Daesung had asked very curiously also a bit afraid that he would be angry with him. Seunghyun sighed and began to nod his head yes.
"I mean..I accidentally called her Jagiya, ever since the day she came to us a few weeks ago I was so nervous and when she watched us at the concert I felt something, I saw her crying, I knew she felt it. I've seen her writings, I see the way she dances, the way she looks at me, the way she cherishes you guys..what is not to like.." He put his head down as he felt embarrassed and afraid I would wake.
"Seunghyun you should talk to her about your feelings, you never know what could happen, you haven't liked anyone in such a long time, I know her, if she says she loves you or likes you she will keep her word, she isn't like...you know who. Just remember you'll have to deal with me more and you'll have to ask permission because as me being her closest friend here I cherish her, and right now I--we all have to watch over her carefully."
They all agreed. Seunghyun agreed he needed to speak with me about his feelings. It was late, he carried me to his room once again and he placed me on his bed, he took of my shoes and tucked me in and he laid next to me, though he was wrapped around me this time. He was anxious and nervous to speak. Soon he was deep in sleep.