This is a fan-fiction. I own none of the characters, endorsements, etc. of this story. Most of the following is of my imagination using some context from Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed.
In our own world, I know that I passionately love the man that "fucks" me almost every night. But I know he won't open up to accept he feels the same way. I ask myself everyday if I should pursue my inner fantasy of a actual relationship. A relationship that would include a family. It would be like walking on water if that happened. What would it take?
I sigh. This is too much. I love him. He doesn't love me. I let him do things to me that most women wouldn't. Living in this lifestyle to please him is getting old. I think that I should move on. Use a safeword during our next encounter. Maybe even walk out. Maybe that would get him thinking about his true feelings.
I strut happily into my playroom. The one I have had installed into my apartment for my own, personal use. I say "fuck that" to many things. And my Dominant's request that I not pleasure myself was one of them.
I take in my surroundings. I am so rarely in here, simply because I spend most of my time with him. I look at my twin bed. Satin sheets with luxurious pillows forming a small mountain. The small red lounge. And my dresser of toys.
I walk over to it, wondering briefly what I will choose to use on myself tonight. I run my finger over my bottom lip as I open the first drawer. A variety of dildos inside. I run my fingers across one and quickly decide nothing in this drawer will be used. I open the next drawer. Lubes and massage oils. Lavender sounds exquisite. I select a warming gel. I open the next drawer. Inside are butt plugs, things I so rarely use by myself. I push the drawer shut. As I open the next drawer, I smile. Vibrators, of all shapes and sizes. I will use one if these. I run my fingers across each one. I select a rather large, long one with a rotating head and five speeds.
I walk over to my bed. Quickly I undress myself. Tossing my bra and panties aside, I climb onto the bed. Reclining onto the pillow mountain, I open up the massage gel. I rub it across my breasts, instantly feeling desire pool in my belly. I instantly want more, need more. I run my hands even farther south, to my sex. I gently cup it, lathering the outside first. Then I start to rub my clit. Then I run my fingers along the length of my sex, instantly feeling the warmth of the gel kick in, causing me to get even more wet. I insert one finger into myself and circle three times.
I pull my finger out, satisfied that I'm already wet enough to insert the toy. I wipe my hands on the flat sheet. I grab the vibrator and rub my hands on it briefly. Then I decide it's time for it to go in. I align it with my sex and push it into me. I gasp, and push it even farther into me. I flip the switch on the end that makes it start going and and I writhe in pleasure. I push it in a little father, till all of it's length is in me. I start to pant. I know that my climax is building. I circle my clit with one hand and tease my nipples with the other. I come loudly.
I pant and continue falling into pleasure. I don't want to remove the cause of it either. I spread my legs further and tilt my hips, causing me to cry out as the vibrator hits my sweet spot. I am still falling. Slowly, I pull the vibrator out, and quickly plunge it back in. I cry out again. I do the same over and over until my body can no longer take the exhaustion of such erotic pleasures. I pull it out of me, all the way, and turn it off. I pant as I stand up and set the vibrator into my chest of dirty toys that need cleaning. I wrap one of my robes around me and lock the door as I walk out of my room of ecstasy.
I walk down the hall to my room. I walk straight to the master bath and start a bubble bath. I let the robe drop and walk over to the mirror to admire my beautiful body. Curvy contours, full breasts and somewhat wide hips. I sway a little to see the coordinated movement it produces. I smile, knowing that keeping this body has gotten me where I am. I walk over to my iHome dock and push play, and the room is instantly filled with the soothing sounds of Fall Out Boy.
I sashay over to the luxurious Whirlpool and turn on the jets and lower myself into it after turning the water off. I moan as I am fully enveloped in hot water. Luxury. The smell of lavender fills my nose. I feel my muscles relax after such a strain. This is so damn relaxing. I lay my head back against the head rest and let the jets work out my tense muscles.
